12.13.2008
12.12.2008
amending "constitutionally amended"
A while back, I wrote a post offering up a possible solution to giving homosexual couples the same property and civil rights afforded to heterosexual couples. After watching Isaac's video post between Jon Stewart and Mike Huckabee on the Daily Show I felt the need to add to my rant.
Here we go...
Mike Huckabee said, "definitions matter" to people. And he's right.
The whole point, and one I have grievously missed, is that the definition of marriage should be changed to include all people who want to be joined in a legally-binding monogamous way. It's inclusiveness that is desired, not exclusiveness (which I suggested by saying that the words should be changed to fit the needs of a separation of church and state). I'm sorry for my ignorance.
Mr. Huckabee, if the crux of "marriage" is for procreation, then why do we allow heterosexual couples who cannot procreate the right to marriage? Why do we allow heterosexual couples who neglect their children, or divorce, or who adopt, the right to marriage when they cannot create and maintain a "traditional" nuclear family? And if marriage is not a right, but rather a privileged, like my driver's license, then why don't I have to take a comprehensive exam to pass to prove that I am ready to be married? Why was I allowed to be married so freely with out question of intent? People like me should never have gotten married at the age I did without a marriage ed class at the very least. I'm just saying!
Here we go...
Mike Huckabee said, "definitions matter" to people. And he's right.
The whole point, and one I have grievously missed, is that the definition of marriage should be changed to include all people who want to be joined in a legally-binding monogamous way. It's inclusiveness that is desired, not exclusiveness (which I suggested by saying that the words should be changed to fit the needs of a separation of church and state). I'm sorry for my ignorance.
Mr. Huckabee, if the crux of "marriage" is for procreation, then why do we allow heterosexual couples who cannot procreate the right to marriage? Why do we allow heterosexual couples who neglect their children, or divorce, or who adopt, the right to marriage when they cannot create and maintain a "traditional" nuclear family? And if marriage is not a right, but rather a privileged, like my driver's license, then why don't I have to take a comprehensive exam to pass to prove that I am ready to be married? Why was I allowed to be married so freely with out question of intent? People like me should never have gotten married at the age I did without a marriage ed class at the very least. I'm just saying!
11.25.2008
economic drop-off
I'm po'.
I'm so po' that I can't afford the last two letters of that word.
Just thought I'd share.
I'm so po' that I can't afford the last two letters of that word.
Just thought I'd share.
11.24.2008
p.s.a.
And now, a word of wisdom from Lil' Donkey:
A wise person once said, "the toes you step on today may be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow."
Smooch!
-L.D.
11.23.2008
official office obsession
Faith and I can't stop watching this.
We think he's so cute. So much in fact, well,... did you see his interview with Bonnie Hunt?
Maybe I need to be out of work, too, to have that much gumption and drive. And SASS!
We think he's so cute. So much in fact, well,... did you see his interview with Bonnie Hunt?
Maybe I need to be out of work, too, to have that much gumption and drive. And SASS!
11.18.2008
turning japanese
Kansas and I detoured on the way to the box office to get free clothing that was being distributed at Military Island (43rd - 44th, 7th Ave - Broadway intersection) this morning. Free anything is great but this was somehow exciting. As we approached the line, we found out that thermal underware was being given away.
It was a funny setup. People waited in line for their moment in front of the human vending machine (actors playing robots that dispense the clothing) to receive their freebie. We were anxious. What would we get? We had no idea. Top or bottom? What would it look like? Admittedly, we were a little nervous when we noticed a runner-type sporting a neck to toe silver jumpsuit. Yikes, please don't give us space-age tracksuits!
Finally, we stepped up to the human vending machine. There were two windows, one with a guy robot and one with a girl. We were sent to the girl robot. A security guard type pressed a large button with a silhouette of a female on it. The robot-girl did the Safety Dance and out popped two white boxes. It was like Christmas and Let's Make a Deal at the same time (I'll take what's behind door number 3, Monty). We couldn't open the boxes fast enough. Inside, we found brown turtleneck long-sleeved thermal undershirts.
It was a funny setup. People waited in line for their moment in front of the human vending machine (actors playing robots that dispense the clothing) to receive their freebie. We were anxious. What would we get? We had no idea. Top or bottom? What would it look like? Admittedly, we were a little nervous when we noticed a runner-type sporting a neck to toe silver jumpsuit. Yikes, please don't give us space-age tracksuits!
Finally, we stepped up to the human vending machine. There were two windows, one with a guy robot and one with a girl. We were sent to the girl robot. A security guard type pressed a large button with a silhouette of a female on it. The robot-girl did the Safety Dance and out popped two white boxes. It was like Christmas and Let's Make a Deal at the same time (I'll take what's behind door number 3, Monty). We couldn't open the boxes fast enough. Inside, we found brown turtleneck long-sleeved thermal undershirts.
Our lovely model, Kansas, is showing us the new wave in Japanese thermal underware. "HEATTECH (the material the shirt is made of) is the smart way to stay warm and comfortable in cold weather." Well, it must be true because it says so on the box.
Kansas went back to the line, incognito this time, and with Ba-Baker, to get another thermal freebie. This time, her turtle neck was beige.
In case you are interested, here is the site of where you can buy this product line. They have a store in Soho. The thermal underware seems pretty reasonably priced, they have other styles besides the turtleneck, and they sell other clothing items. It seems like the store is the Japanese equivalent of H & M. If the shirt keeps me warm or gives me a insatiable craving for sushi, I'll let you know.
11.16.2008
veggie might
me: 0
tofu: 1
I try, not ever so hard, to make a more concerted effort to eat a more vegetarian diet. That means that I would be learning how to cook more vegetarian meals. I love eating tofu when I'm out at a restaurant or for take out. I wish I could cook with it.
Hence the marinating and pan frying tofu story. It's not a very good story, but it will have a point at the end, I promise.
So... I marinated tofu. Exciting start, huh? I had a Newman's Own lemon-pepper marinade, that I've used before for chicken that I had success with, that I wanted to use again. I cut the tofu, I drained the tofu, I pressed the water out of the tofu. I marinated the tofu. In the fridge it went to wait for me to come home from work that night.
I came home and pan fried the tofu (why not) and made a few other vegetarian side dishes. Well, the side dishes were wonderful. Braised Brussels sprouts and mashed sweet potatoes. The tofu... well... I'm not sure if it was the marinade or my cooking technique, but the tofu steaks did not turn out as good as I hoped. I was under the false impression that it would come out good no matter what I did. Alas.
What is the point of the story you might ask? It is to prove my ineptness when it comes to cooking a la vegetarian. So, can someone, anyone, please send me a fail safe recipe or words of encouragement? I can't move on in my life until I feel that I can effectively use tofu in a recipe other than stir-fry. I am, from here on out, stunted until further notice.
tofu: 1
I try, not ever so hard, to make a more concerted effort to eat a more vegetarian diet. That means that I would be learning how to cook more vegetarian meals. I love eating tofu when I'm out at a restaurant or for take out. I wish I could cook with it.
Hence the marinating and pan frying tofu story. It's not a very good story, but it will have a point at the end, I promise.
So... I marinated tofu. Exciting start, huh? I had a Newman's Own lemon-pepper marinade, that I've used before for chicken that I had success with, that I wanted to use again. I cut the tofu, I drained the tofu, I pressed the water out of the tofu. I marinated the tofu. In the fridge it went to wait for me to come home from work that night.
I came home and pan fried the tofu (why not) and made a few other vegetarian side dishes. Well, the side dishes were wonderful. Braised Brussels sprouts and mashed sweet potatoes. The tofu... well... I'm not sure if it was the marinade or my cooking technique, but the tofu steaks did not turn out as good as I hoped. I was under the false impression that it would come out good no matter what I did. Alas.
What is the point of the story you might ask? It is to prove my ineptness when it comes to cooking a la vegetarian. So, can someone, anyone, please send me a fail safe recipe or words of encouragement? I can't move on in my life until I feel that I can effectively use tofu in a recipe other than stir-fry. I am, from here on out, stunted until further notice.
out of the blog closet
I'm testing the waters to see if I can, once again, feel safe in the blog-a-sphere. I have temporarily removed my readership restrictions and currently have an "open to all" blog. We shall see if trust can be kept this time around.
11.13.2008
knit suprise- the "it's not a leg warmer" update
Can you guess what it is now, laurenj (and the rest of you)?
11.10.2008
sincerely yours
I wanted to blog about this a while ago, but didn't for no decent reason.
The following is a selection of highlights in an e-mail exchange between Isaac and myself, sometime last month:
me: Hey all! ... For those that can, please meet me at the Dallas BBQ's on 23rd and 8th at 6pm. After dinner we can walk over to the... theater on 11th Ave and 23rd Street. Please let me know if I am to expect you for dinner.
Isaac: So business-like! "Please let me know if I am to expect you for dinner." Who are you, Edith Wharton?
me: My dearest M. Oliver,
My only desire, during this trying day, was to inquire of your attendance. Your company is always found to be of an indispensable quality. The rest of my guests, I surmise, wouldn't hesitate to agree.
Please allow me, once again, to express my interest in your presence for this evening's entertainment. Please contact me, by carrier pigeon or man-servant if available, of your reply.
Sensibly Yours,
E. Wharton
Isaac: Oh my god, I WISH I HAD A MAN-SERVANT ON HAND.
me: My Dearest M. Oliver,
If you find you are without one of your household servants, might I offer the use of one of mine. His name is Winfred and is a strapping young man with a gentle temperament. His has many qualities and skills that may be of use to you. In addition his uncomparable loyalty and devotion to his duty, he is a charming companion. He is even known, on occasion, to sing the gayest of warbles.
I hope you can find him of some use.
Frequently Yours,
E. Wharton
The following is a selection of highlights in an e-mail exchange between Isaac and myself, sometime last month:
me: Hey all! ... For those that can, please meet me at the Dallas BBQ's on 23rd and 8th at 6pm. After dinner we can walk over to the... theater on 11th Ave and 23rd Street. Please let me know if I am to expect you for dinner.
Isaac: So business-like! "Please let me know if I am to expect you for dinner." Who are you, Edith Wharton?
me: My dearest M. Oliver,
My only desire, during this trying day, was to inquire of your attendance. Your company is always found to be of an indispensable quality. The rest of my guests, I surmise, wouldn't hesitate to agree.
Please allow me, once again, to express my interest in your presence for this evening's entertainment. Please contact me, by carrier pigeon or man-servant if available, of your reply.
Sensibly Yours,
E. Wharton
Isaac: Oh my god, I WISH I HAD A MAN-SERVANT ON HAND.
me: My Dearest M. Oliver,
If you find you are without one of your household servants, might I offer the use of one of mine. His name is Winfred and is a strapping young man with a gentle temperament. His has many qualities and skills that may be of use to you. In addition his uncomparable loyalty and devotion to his duty, he is a charming companion. He is even known, on occasion, to sing the gayest of warbles.
I hope you can find him of some use.
Frequently Yours,
E. Wharton
11.05.2008
and speaking of politics...
Is there anyone else out there who's as excited as I am? My bff Shay called to say she was so happy that America elected a black man (as she is herself black). She also said she was sad that her mom didn't live to see this day, but she knows there are some special people in heaven looking down on this moment.
Also on the phone call news of the day, my dad, an ardent Republican supporter, called today to say that he still loved me even if the election didn't go his way. I told him that I loved him even if he didn't apologise for being underestimating and wrong. We reminded each other that, although the next few months and years will be hard, we all must do everything we can to help our new President during this difficult time primarily by stopping all of this partisan bickering. Then he proceeded to say what every hardened Republican will no doubtingly say in the next few days... that it was W's fault. I decided to play it classy by not reminding my dad that he voted for Bush... twice. I'll save that for later.
Also on the phone call news of the day, my dad, an ardent Republican supporter, called today to say that he still loved me even if the election didn't go his way. I told him that I loved him even if he didn't apologise for being underestimating and wrong. We reminded each other that, although the next few months and years will be hard, we all must do everything we can to help our new President during this difficult time primarily by stopping all of this partisan bickering. Then he proceeded to say what every hardened Republican will no doubtingly say in the next few days... that it was W's fault. I decided to play it classy by not reminding my dad that he voted for Bush... twice. I'll save that for later.
constitutionally amendmended
A little while ago, I ranted about same-sex marriage. I suggested that the legal and religious terms for a monogamous union should be different as to not cause a confusion between the legal and ceremonial processes between what government and the religions do, (did that make sense?). IE: the state calls it one thing and the churches call it something else.
The gist of what I was trying to say is that the words we use are not important. What is important is that ALL people are created equal (I'm not making that up, it says so in the US Constitution), and that same-sex partners should be afforded the same civil rights as opposite-sex partners. Marriage, civil union, business arrangement, limited liability partnership, whatever. Fuck what it's called. As long as everyone who wants it can have it. That way, all people, who are created equal, have an equal chance to mess it up and go to therapy like me.
The gist of what I was trying to say is that the words we use are not important. What is important is that ALL people are created equal (I'm not making that up, it says so in the US Constitution), and that same-sex partners should be afforded the same civil rights as opposite-sex partners. Marriage, civil union, business arrangement, limited liability partnership, whatever. Fuck what it's called. As long as everyone who wants it can have it. That way, all people, who are created equal, have an equal chance to mess it up and go to therapy like me.
11.04.2008
rogue breakfast
My other and I got up early to vote. We were expecting the long lines that CBS radio news was talking about this morning. Turns out, there was a line, longer than any I have faced at my polling site, but there were only 5 people in front of me. Not too bad, but optimistic.
After voting, we had plenty of time to head over to the local diner to grab some breakfast. I wanted something hearty and rich. Eggs Benedict! Perfect idea. Or is it? It is probably the most unpatriotic thing to eat after submitting my vote in the most historic election ever. After all, the dish has the same name as the biggest traitor in all of American history; Benedict Arnold. But it has Canadian bacon on it, and I love Canadian bacon. That's because after he left the Contential Army, fought against the Americans, and later escaped to Canada. And the English muffin, chewy and craggy, but Arnold lived the rest of his life in England. Drats. But the Hollandaise sauce, it's soooo tangy and buttery, but what's the significance of that?
Well... thank goodness for Wikipedia, because I would never have a barrage of questionable facts at my fingertips if it weren't for this site. Turns out, Eggs Benedict is not named after Benedict Arnold, but it was named after either Lemuel Benedict (a retired Wall Street broker who had the chef at the Waldorf Astoria first make it for him in the '40's) or Commodore E.C. Benedict (a banker and yachtsman who died in 1920, and who somehow passed his recipe to a friend who in turn passed it down two generations, and ultimately published in the New York Times Magazine). Very likely, the recipe is much older and is most defiantly French. But oh-so-good.
It settles my heart to know that my breakfast was neither unpatriotic or American. However, the conversation in the next booth over from the one I sat at featured the key words: marijuana, titties, a clock, and the repeated sound "bong" which may either refer to the clock or the pot. Very American. Now, where's my apple pie!
After voting, we had plenty of time to head over to the local diner to grab some breakfast. I wanted something hearty and rich. Eggs Benedict! Perfect idea. Or is it? It is probably the most unpatriotic thing to eat after submitting my vote in the most historic election ever. After all, the dish has the same name as the biggest traitor in all of American history; Benedict Arnold. But it has Canadian bacon on it, and I love Canadian bacon. That's because after he left the Contential Army, fought against the Americans, and later escaped to Canada. And the English muffin, chewy and craggy, but Arnold lived the rest of his life in England. Drats. But the Hollandaise sauce, it's soooo tangy and buttery, but what's the significance of that?
Well... thank goodness for Wikipedia, because I would never have a barrage of questionable facts at my fingertips if it weren't for this site. Turns out, Eggs Benedict is not named after Benedict Arnold, but it was named after either Lemuel Benedict (a retired Wall Street broker who had the chef at the Waldorf Astoria first make it for him in the '40's) or Commodore E.C. Benedict (a banker and yachtsman who died in 1920, and who somehow passed his recipe to a friend who in turn passed it down two generations, and ultimately published in the New York Times Magazine). Very likely, the recipe is much older and is most defiantly French. But oh-so-good.
It settles my heart to know that my breakfast was neither unpatriotic or American. However, the conversation in the next booth over from the one I sat at featured the key words: marijuana, titties, a clock, and the repeated sound "bong" which may either refer to the clock or the pot. Very American. Now, where's my apple pie!
10.29.2008
what ev'
I'm really sorry if I offended anyone with my last rant. It may not have been a popular opinion, but it...well... oh fuck it. Damn my mouth, ok!
Now that I've got that off my chest... Hey y'all! What's up?
Yeah?
That's cool.
Guess what? I didn't have to fill in for anyone at work today. That means that I really get a day off to myself. Yay, me! I'm so happy, that I'm not sure what to do with my time off? I don't have any household chores, I did those over the weekend. I could invest into some serious baking time, but I have to be out of the house by 1:30 for an appointment. Wow, besides sitting in my robe, drinking tea, and watching reruns of Grace Under Fire, I don't think I have anything that's pressing to do right now.
It's pretty nice.
Now that I've got that off my chest... Hey y'all! What's up?
Yeah?
That's cool.
Guess what? I didn't have to fill in for anyone at work today. That means that I really get a day off to myself. Yay, me! I'm so happy, that I'm not sure what to do with my time off? I don't have any household chores, I did those over the weekend. I could invest into some serious baking time, but I have to be out of the house by 1:30 for an appointment. Wow, besides sitting in my robe, drinking tea, and watching reruns of Grace Under Fire, I don't think I have anything that's pressing to do right now.
It's pretty nice.
10.22.2008
the great divorce
Can I put in my two cents about same-sex marriage?
Did you know that the word marry, as in to wed, etymologically, can be traced back to the Middle Ages and referred to a common oath? It is also, from the same era, a derivation of the Virgin Mary. The word seeps in religious (specifically catholic, as in the form of Christian religion and not the church) undertones. The social concept of marriage makes sense when you consider the etic and emic purposes in governing and propagating a civilization. Also consider the social, environmental, and political conditions humans lived in during the Middle Ages. It makes sense how and why Christianity grew to power and reigned for so long. Simply, it's social hegemony.
I feel safe to say that, at least among the people I know, we believe in the separation of church and state. As we also want Government (using the large 'g' to reflect the physical institutions) to be less involved in our lives and want our civil liberties recognized and respected. The Constitution of the US says nothing about marriage of any variety. This has always be an issue left to the states. Through my research, I'm having a hard time finding US Supreme Court opinions that directly discuss same-sex marriage (though there are other cases that mention it as an example to support or undermine another case opinion). However, I find in these cases the Due Process Clause of the 14th Amendment of the US Constitution, ("no state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws," in case you forgot what it said) is always brought up; as it is the clause which refers to one's civil liberties.
My two cents.
Since the word marry comes out of religious source, it makes sense to associate that term as such and let the term civil union be associated with legal who-ha; and by who-ha I mean rights to property and probate, insurance, income tax, etc, etc. Oh, and as a reminder, those are issues that are dealt with on a state level, not a federal one.
It is not right, and morally and constitutionally against the idea of civil liberties, to give one term to homosexual couples and another to heterosexual couples. The only way to solve this issue is to abide by the separation of church and state, and not the separation of the demographics.
Two things. 1. Thank you all for reading my tirade. I know that everyone who reads my blog, and there aren't too many of you, have similar views and don't need to be preached to or informed about this issue. Sorry everyone. 2. If I have missed any points or if I seem misinformed about anything I have brought up, please let me know and help me correct my ignorance. I am trying to better myself and become more active and open about equal rights and liberties issues.
10.21.2008
"sniff"
Damn this drastic weather change. Stupid scratchy and swollen throat. Dumb humidifier that leaks so I can't turn it on so my nose gets stuffy in the middle of the night.
Did we skip fall? It was like, in the 70's last week, and all of a sudden I'm not wearing enough layers to keep me from getting frost bite. And now I'm not doing well. Phooey. Drats! Cough. Ouch.
I just have to admit defeat and accept the fact that winter has won. I lost. I concede. Somebody throw me in the showers. Turn me over, I am done!
Did we skip fall? It was like, in the 70's last week, and all of a sudden I'm not wearing enough layers to keep me from getting frost bite. And now I'm not doing well. Phooey. Drats! Cough. Ouch.
I just have to admit defeat and accept the fact that winter has won. I lost. I concede. Somebody throw me in the showers. Turn me over, I am done!
10.17.2008
I'm a star
Well, not really. But I am going to get my "e-mail to the editor" published as "Letter of the Week" in the next issue of Time Out New York. I just found out this morning. Pretty nifty, huh!? I think so too.
I got on my soap box about their "Cause of the Week" segment because it talked about donating blood (a cause near and dear to my other). The article said everyone in good health can donate. As I am sure you remember, I had a not-too-recent online tirade about my feelings about gay men not being able to donate. Well, I let TONY have it, and reminded them of this oversight. And now, I'm going to be published for it.
I told you guys last time that I'd be participating in some sort of advocacy work towards overturning the ruling that bans gay men from donating. Step 1: getting the info out there. Every little bit helps. Girl's gotta start from somewhere.
I got on my soap box about their "Cause of the Week" segment because it talked about donating blood (a cause near and dear to my other). The article said everyone in good health can donate. As I am sure you remember, I had a not-too-recent online tirade about my feelings about gay men not being able to donate. Well, I let TONY have it, and reminded them of this oversight. And now, I'm going to be published for it.
I told you guys last time that I'd be participating in some sort of advocacy work towards overturning the ruling that bans gay men from donating. Step 1: getting the info out there. Every little bit helps. Girl's gotta start from somewhere.
10.15.2008
dependant economics
Long story short... I'm at work, filling in for a sick co-worker.
Long whine short... Though I'm sad about not having the day off and getting some errands ran and seeing some friends earlier than expected, as I told IPJ, Christmas is coming. Momma needs a new pair of shoes (I didn't say the second part. I was just giving you an image).
So... knowing my current financial state, can I pull a pseudo-Martha Stewart in my holiday gift giving, on half of what I spent last year, in half the time, and still using my knack for homemade goodness and decoration? I'm sure as hell going to try. And part of that means that I'm going to have to try to rack up the hours and curb my 2nd cup of coffee addiction and bring my lunch to work every day. I feel like Mrs. Cratchit without my Tiny Tim.
I think, to make myself feel better and to show off to all of my friends, I'm going to begin to post journal-esque blog reports on my holiday progress.
For example...
Today, I was updating my holiday card mailing list. I have organized you and all of my other friends, co-workers, business associated, family members, et al, on a handy-dandy spreadsheet that I will mail merge soon. 1 task down, 99 more to go. Impressed? Yeah, you should be.
Long whine short... Though I'm sad about not having the day off and getting some errands ran and seeing some friends earlier than expected, as I told IPJ, Christmas is coming. Momma needs a new pair of shoes (I didn't say the second part. I was just giving you an image).
So... knowing my current financial state, can I pull a pseudo-Martha Stewart in my holiday gift giving, on half of what I spent last year, in half the time, and still using my knack for homemade goodness and decoration? I'm sure as hell going to try. And part of that means that I'm going to have to try to rack up the hours and curb my 2nd cup of coffee addiction and bring my lunch to work every day. I feel like Mrs. Cratchit without my Tiny Tim.
I think, to make myself feel better and to show off to all of my friends, I'm going to begin to post journal-esque blog reports on my holiday progress.
For example...
Today, I was updating my holiday card mailing list. I have organized you and all of my other friends, co-workers, business associated, family members, et al, on a handy-dandy spreadsheet that I will mail merge soon. 1 task down, 99 more to go. Impressed? Yeah, you should be.
10.14.2008
cause to vote
Whether you lean right or left, please, on November 4th, please vote what's in your heart, on your mind, and in your conscience.
And if you can't find in your soul which way you should vote, then, please, be sure to think of this person when you vote:
And if you can't find in your soul which way you should vote, then, please, be sure to think of this person when you vote:
Hopefully, by remembering why this person is in the position they are in, you can do what's right for this country. Only you can stop the potential senselessness that this nation may face in the next 4 years.
10.08.2008
awe, fuck
We are, understandably so, freaked out about the current economic climate here in the US. How soon we forget the rest of the world. Did anyone know that Iceland's on the verge of national bankruptcy? After you click on the link and read the article, you'll have to let me know if it read, kinda, oh, ida know, like it was a familiar story. At least that how I felt.
10.07.2008
nuclear wessels
I was watching the debate tonight and I want to draw attention to the alternative energy portion of the evening. It's not my intention to be disrespectful of either presidential candidate, but every time they talked about nuclear power, I couldn't help but think of a particular scene from Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.
That made me laugh.
That made me laugh.
10.06.2008
self-medicating for seasonal depression
Growing up Margaritaville- style really prevented me from embracing the colder of the seasons. And you would think, that after almost 8 years of living north of the Mason-Dixon line, I would have a clue, any clue, about how to function in and take advantage of what autumn has to bring. I'm trying.
And to show my attempt at appreciating fall, let me share what I enjoy about the season.
-Hot apple cider
-Colorful scarves and tights
-All foods made out of pumpkin
-The pretty browns and oranges and reds on fall leaves.
If there are any things/activities/events/etc that you would file under the heading "fall experience" that you think I should love, please share. In the mean time, please excuse me, while I go out for a hot chocolate. My fingers are like ice cubes right now.
And to show my attempt at appreciating fall, let me share what I enjoy about the season.
-Hot apple cider
-Colorful scarves and tights
-All foods made out of pumpkin
-The pretty browns and oranges and reds on fall leaves.
If there are any things/activities/events/etc that you would file under the heading "fall experience" that you think I should love, please share. In the mean time, please excuse me, while I go out for a hot chocolate. My fingers are like ice cubes right now.
10.04.2008
whine and cheese
What! No new cupcake post? You know who you are. We've had, like, what?... 3 cupcake episodes experienced and documented in the past 2 months or so, and you have yet to post pics or make colorful graphs. What the feck? I feel like your priorities are slipping.
We had a pack, man. You had a mission. Step up, 'cause I can't keep looking at the picture of the west-coast cupcakes you had with your family. Yeah, it's a touching story, with you first niece and her first cupcake, but I have a shot of you tonguing a big one that needs to be front-paged on that blog.
Oh, and, Camembert.
We had a pack, man. You had a mission. Step up, 'cause I can't keep looking at the picture of the west-coast cupcakes you had with your family. Yeah, it's a touching story, with you first niece and her first cupcake, but I have a shot of you tonguing a big one that needs to be front-paged on that blog.
Oh, and, Camembert.
9.30.2008
no, thank YOU for being a friend
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Rue "Blanche Devereaux" McClanahan will be reading from her new book My First Five Husbands & the Ones Who Got Away tonight at the Drama Book Shop. If you can make it, go. I bet she is fabulous!
Oh my good, oh my god, oh my god! I can't go because I don't get out of work until after 7 and I have prior commitments.
Stupid responsibilities.
Oh my good, oh my god, oh my god! I can't go because I don't get out of work until after 7 and I have prior commitments.
Stupid responsibilities.
9.28.2008
just wanted to share
Red grapes, though really good, are not a suitable substitute for french vanilla ice cream.
Fortitude, though a name of one of the lions in front of the 5th Ave branch of the New York Public Library, is not a good thing to have when you have a craving for ice cream.
Damn.
Fortitude, though a name of one of the lions in front of the 5th Ave branch of the New York Public Library, is not a good thing to have when you have a craving for ice cream.
Damn.
9.26.2008
red, white, and blue state of mind
I've spent my day off catching up on current U.S. affairs. The economic bail-out, the off/on presidential debate, Sarah Palin's daily show of ineptitude, Letterman's panties in a bunch over the McCain stand-up. Fuck! It's too much to take in one day. As if I needed a reason to drink.
Luckily, there's one patriotic man I can turn to in times like these:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. TK"s an alkie. Oooo. She admitted it. The first step to recovery is admittance. What ev! I'm not drinking because I'm stressed by politics. I'm drinking because I need some perspective during this election year. So there.
Luckily, there's one patriotic man I can turn to in times like these:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. TK"s an alkie. Oooo. She admitted it. The first step to recovery is admittance. What ev! I'm not drinking because I'm stressed by politics. I'm drinking because I need some perspective during this election year. So there.
9.24.2008
some excuse
The following phone conversation took place this evening between 11:00pm and 11:10pm.
Me: Hey, so, um, I know I had the day off and all, but I have to apologize about something.
Other: Okay.
Me: Well, after the doctor's appointment I went to work and I found out some gossip and all... (insert really long story about the gossip).
Other: What are you apologizing about?
Me: Well, after work, Kansas invited me over to her apartment to visit Murphy, and, well, I don't know how to say it, so I guess I'll just tell you the truth.
Other: (silence)
Me: Murphy held me hostage and wouldn't let me come home in time to do the laundry.
other: What?
Me: Murphy. Kansas's cat? I came over for a visit and she tricked me into staying. I got home so late that it was too late to start a load of laundry. I'm sorry.
Other: (long silence) Hmm.
Me: Hey, so, um, I know I had the day off and all, but I have to apologize about something.
Other: Okay.
Me: Well, after the doctor's appointment I went to work and I found out some gossip and all... (insert really long story about the gossip).
Other: What are you apologizing about?
Me: Well, after work, Kansas invited me over to her apartment to visit Murphy, and, well, I don't know how to say it, so I guess I'll just tell you the truth.
Other: (silence)
Me: Murphy held me hostage and wouldn't let me come home in time to do the laundry.
other: What?
Me: Murphy. Kansas's cat? I came over for a visit and she tricked me into staying. I got home so late that it was too late to start a load of laundry. I'm sorry.
Other: (long silence) Hmm.
when pigs fly
I'm sorry to say that this article caused me to roll my eyes and say, "as if!" The long awaited TKTS booth will return to its original location in October. Pauh-leeze. It's been like, what, 10 years since the booth left the pigeon ridden Duffy Square to the wonderfully convenient location of Broadway and 46th Street on the north side of the Marriott Marquis hotel. Every so often, on playbill.com, you'd read an article about yet another delay in the construction of the new booth. I was beginning to think that the fiberglass staircase to the 2nd floor of the Olive Garden (look at it guys, it just seems to led to there) was never going to happen.
This is seriously nothing to get excited over. I don't even know why I'm writing about this. What's wrong with me? Why am I so perturbed over a glued down ticket trailer opening or not opening. Why isn't there better news on the AP? First Gay Aiken, now this. Somebody please send me a news article about the economy or about the presidential race or about the latest person getting kicked off of Dancing with the Stars. Help!
This is seriously nothing to get excited over. I don't even know why I'm writing about this. What's wrong with me? Why am I so perturbed over a glued down ticket trailer opening or not opening. Why isn't there better news on the AP? First Gay Aiken, now this. Somebody please send me a news article about the economy or about the presidential race or about the latest person getting kicked off of Dancing with the Stars. Help!
the duh files
This story should be listed under the heading, "And why does this makes the news? I thought we already knew."
Yup, Clay is gay. I'm trademarking that title before the New York Post uses it.
Yup, Clay is gay. I'm trademarking that title before the New York Post uses it.
9.22.2008
blood letting
My other organizes a blood drive at his boys' club every 3 months or so. This is, for all intensive purposes, a good civic duty. I haven't donated blood in about 10 years. This evening, my other asked me to come down to the boys' clubhouse and donate. I was so torn about donating. I am against blood banks not accepting gay men as donors, despite the high risk of HIV and AIDS contraction amongst all social groups despite gender, age, ethnicity and sexual orientation (for example, did you know that women are twice as likely to contract the disease than men, despite their sexual practices?). On the other hand, should one of my gay friends be in need of blood I wouldn't hesitate in giving. So, in the end I gave...but I'm still going to encourage everyone to pressure the FDA (who instituted and enforced the nationwide ban against sexually active gay men donating since 1979) to overturn their ban. Be on the lookout for form e-mails to send to people in political power, like your congress-person, from me in the near future.
Anywho... today was a very stressful and hectic day at work. Ask Kansas, she was there. After work, I ran down to the boys' clubhouse and filled out the blood center's questionnaire and had my iron level checked and proceeded to give my pint. Reminder... 10 years since I last gave blood. Before I gave, I asked the nurse why the blood bank needed my social security number. "Here's a pamphlet about that." Okay. When the needle was removed from my arm I noticed some bruising. I pointed that out to the nurse. "Here's a pamphlet about that." I flashed back to when my mom and I had that talk about sex. "Here's a pamphlet about that." No joke! That's how I received my sex education from my mom.
After I gave I became dizzy, tingly in my hand and arm, hot then cold then hot then cold again, and I felt like I was going to black out. Three times. It felt really good to lay down and to close my eyes. I began to nap a little but I was immediately energized by the thought of Isaac's "Donna story." After 4 years that story still makes me laugh. Sorry, regressing. Where was I? Oh, yeah... when I near-passed out the first time, I thought to myself, "fuck! The last time I was lying on a gurney was when I went to the hospital for emergency gall bladder surgery and the last thing I remember before I was knocked out was telling the anesthesiologist that I was sorry for not brushing my teeth before I checked into the emergency room." Well, every 5 to 10 minutes one of the nurses would come up to me, sometimes too close, to ask if I was alright or if I was ready to sit up, and I kept thinking, "fuck! If something happens to me I'm going to be so mad because I should have brushed my teeth before I came here." Some people worry about clean underwear. Others...
To make a long story short... I survived the ordeal. Was it scary? No, only embarrassing, because I repeatedly nearly died in front of my other's boys' club members/friends. Will I do it again? Not if I have a crazy/stressful day like the one I had today. Was it worth it? Only if I can say, "I'm doing it because it will save Isaac's life," or something along those lines. Sorry, Isaac. If you feel uncomfortable being my token gay male I can always ask IPJ.
Anywho... today was a very stressful and hectic day at work. Ask Kansas, she was there. After work, I ran down to the boys' clubhouse and filled out the blood center's questionnaire and had my iron level checked and proceeded to give my pint. Reminder... 10 years since I last gave blood. Before I gave, I asked the nurse why the blood bank needed my social security number. "Here's a pamphlet about that." Okay. When the needle was removed from my arm I noticed some bruising. I pointed that out to the nurse. "Here's a pamphlet about that." I flashed back to when my mom and I had that talk about sex. "Here's a pamphlet about that." No joke! That's how I received my sex education from my mom.
After I gave I became dizzy, tingly in my hand and arm, hot then cold then hot then cold again, and I felt like I was going to black out. Three times. It felt really good to lay down and to close my eyes. I began to nap a little but I was immediately energized by the thought of Isaac's "Donna story." After 4 years that story still makes me laugh. Sorry, regressing. Where was I? Oh, yeah... when I near-passed out the first time, I thought to myself, "fuck! The last time I was lying on a gurney was when I went to the hospital for emergency gall bladder surgery and the last thing I remember before I was knocked out was telling the anesthesiologist that I was sorry for not brushing my teeth before I checked into the emergency room." Well, every 5 to 10 minutes one of the nurses would come up to me, sometimes too close, to ask if I was alright or if I was ready to sit up, and I kept thinking, "fuck! If something happens to me I'm going to be so mad because I should have brushed my teeth before I came here." Some people worry about clean underwear. Others...
To make a long story short... I survived the ordeal. Was it scary? No, only embarrassing, because I repeatedly nearly died in front of my other's boys' club members/friends. Will I do it again? Not if I have a crazy/stressful day like the one I had today. Was it worth it? Only if I can say, "I'm doing it because it will save Isaac's life," or something along those lines. Sorry, Isaac. If you feel uncomfortable being my token gay male I can always ask IPJ.
9.20.2008
legally mexican
Guess who turned of age this week? Shanel.
Guess who took her out for her first strawberry margarita? IPJ, Isaac and I.
Guess where we went for said margarita for said person's birthday?
Guess who took her out for her first strawberry margarita? IPJ, Isaac and I.
Guess where we went for said margarita for said person's birthday?
9.18.2008
op/oops
In my attempt to criticize Sarah Palin's micro-localized background in government and her history of nepotistic appointing and hiring while in office as both mayor and governor, I called her a product of inbreeding related to half of the population of the state of Alaska.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to people of Alaska; specifically to any person affiliated with the Democratic, Independent, Green and Republican Moderate (Citizens for Ethical Government) parties. I didn't mean to say that you were related to that woman. I'm sorry.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to people of Alaska; specifically to any person affiliated with the Democratic, Independent, Green and Republican Moderate (Citizens for Ethical Government) parties. I didn't mean to say that you were related to that woman. I'm sorry.
9.15.2008
haters
As found in an online article, written by Julie Hirschfeld Davis of the Associate Press. Published Monday September 15, 2:47 PM ET, regarding Republican Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin:
"She's a down-to-earth mom like me," (Jan) Thibault, a customer service representative from St. Augustine, Fla., said of Palin. "She has a basic knowledge of what it means to be middle class."
My response...
I have a basic knowledge of how to fly an airplane, of how to deliver a baby, and of how to disarm a nuclear bomb. But that does not mean that I am qualified to do any of the afore mentioned. In fact, after her interview with ABC's Charles Gibson, I doubt that Sarah Palin has a basic knowledge of how the government works or the current political issues of the day.
As found in an New York Times article about Palin's governing style by Jo Becker, et al, published September 13, 2008:
"Interviews show that Ms. Palin runs an administration that puts a premium on loyalty and secrecy."
My response...
So does the mafia. Gov. Palin's consistently reported style of using fear tactics (as there is no line between personal and business with her), and using extreme measures to remove those who oppose her, shows that there is little difference between her camp and the mafia. DISCLAIMER: I am in no way saying that Gov. Palin has ever attempted to put a hit on anyone (as least the evidence that is reported doesn't support that). I'm just criticizing her behavior and procedures. It's my first amendment right to do so.
I guess you'll know the punchline to this joke. What's the difference between Sarah Palin and mafia godfather? Middle-class hockey mom, my ass.
"She's a down-to-earth mom like me," (Jan) Thibault, a customer service representative from St. Augustine, Fla., said of Palin. "She has a basic knowledge of what it means to be middle class."
My response...
I have a basic knowledge of how to fly an airplane, of how to deliver a baby, and of how to disarm a nuclear bomb. But that does not mean that I am qualified to do any of the afore mentioned. In fact, after her interview with ABC's Charles Gibson, I doubt that Sarah Palin has a basic knowledge of how the government works or the current political issues of the day.
As found in an New York Times article about Palin's governing style by Jo Becker, et al, published September 13, 2008:
"Interviews show that Ms. Palin runs an administration that puts a premium on loyalty and secrecy."
My response...
So does the mafia. Gov. Palin's consistently reported style of using fear tactics (as there is no line between personal and business with her), and using extreme measures to remove those who oppose her, shows that there is little difference between her camp and the mafia. DISCLAIMER: I am in no way saying that Gov. Palin has ever attempted to put a hit on anyone (as least the evidence that is reported doesn't support that). I'm just criticizing her behavior and procedures. It's my first amendment right to do so.
I guess you'll know the punchline to this joke. What's the difference between Sarah Palin and mafia godfather? Middle-class hockey mom, my ass.
9.12.2008
I'm it
Gad-zooks. Tagged again. Okay, how does this work?
1. Turn your iPod (or whatever thing houses your music collection) on shuffle
2. See how long it takes you to get to a song that'll disqualify you from the Presidency.
Here we go...
1. "[Untitled Track]" from the album (What's the Story) Morning Glory by Oasis. It's 44 seconds of electric guitar music played to the sound of moving water. I couldn't imagine what that may signify, except that I'm possibly speechless and without words for this task.
2. "Hallelujah" John Cale. Lyrics are obviously religious in reference (good) but since I'm not versed in Christian references without the help of Wikipedia (bad) I'm going to have to take a crack and say that the lyrics, "She tied you to a kitchen chair / She broke your throne, she cut your hair / And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah," foretell the wrath of Sarah Palin as a Delilah figure? Yikes!
3. "Too Little Too Late" Barenaked Ladies. Having a physically close proximity to Canada does count as foreign policy, after all.
4. "Perfect World" Huey Lewis & the News. This song talks about the inability to imagine a future and trust disintegrating over time. I have no hope of winning anyone over on the campaign trail with this song.
5. "Changes" David Bowie. The lyrics, "And these children that you spit on / As they try to change their worlds / Are immune to your consultations / They're quite aware of what they're going through, " should be a warning to the right wing.
6. "Goodbye Earl" Dixie Chicks. Pop-country (republican), female empowerment (democratic). It's a story about a small town girl marrying the first guy that comes along (localized issues) and a small town girl who goes out into the world to find her way (global perspective). At the end of the song, the girls take matters into their own hands against a law breaker (vigilante activity) and eventually become small business owners (participation in a free market society). The song's propensity for being all over the politicized spectrum with no focus could make me a front runner on the Republican ticket.
I tag MNS and laurenj.
1. Turn your iPod (or whatever thing houses your music collection) on shuffle
2. See how long it takes you to get to a song that'll disqualify you from the Presidency.
Here we go...
1. "[Untitled Track]" from the album (What's the Story) Morning Glory by Oasis. It's 44 seconds of electric guitar music played to the sound of moving water. I couldn't imagine what that may signify, except that I'm possibly speechless and without words for this task.
2. "Hallelujah" John Cale. Lyrics are obviously religious in reference (good) but since I'm not versed in Christian references without the help of Wikipedia (bad) I'm going to have to take a crack and say that the lyrics, "She tied you to a kitchen chair / She broke your throne, she cut your hair / And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah," foretell the wrath of Sarah Palin as a Delilah figure? Yikes!
3. "Too Little Too Late" Barenaked Ladies. Having a physically close proximity to Canada does count as foreign policy, after all.
4. "Perfect World" Huey Lewis & the News. This song talks about the inability to imagine a future and trust disintegrating over time. I have no hope of winning anyone over on the campaign trail with this song.
5. "Changes" David Bowie. The lyrics, "And these children that you spit on / As they try to change their worlds / Are immune to your consultations / They're quite aware of what they're going through, " should be a warning to the right wing.
6. "Goodbye Earl" Dixie Chicks. Pop-country (republican), female empowerment (democratic). It's a story about a small town girl marrying the first guy that comes along (localized issues) and a small town girl who goes out into the world to find her way (global perspective). At the end of the song, the girls take matters into their own hands against a law breaker (vigilante activity) and eventually become small business owners (participation in a free market society). The song's propensity for being all over the politicized spectrum with no focus could make me a front runner on the Republican ticket.
I tag MNS and laurenj.
9.11.2008
incomprehensible
Me sleepy. So tired. I'm an old lady. I can't stay at the theatre until 11pm and expect that I'll be bright eyed and bushy tailed at my desk at 9:30 the next morning. I feel. Like. I'm going to. Fall. Over my keyboard. Can't stay up. Sleep good. Nap good. Me like Hulk. Only limited words. Want sleep. Need rem cycle right now. Nite, nite.
9.07.2008
RIP IPJ : 2004-2008
I regret to inform the world that I have lost a co-worker. He was a very dear person. I will remember the times he made me laugh and the times he made me roll my eyes. But mostly, when I stroll along the street, and I feel the warm sun kissing my face, I will always think of him like this:
All the best, my friend. I'll miss you.
9.03.2008
attack of the cutey-patooty
Kansas's new cat Murphy (who for some reason... and I don't know why... I want to call Harley) is the cutest kitten I have seen in ages. I finally got off my keester and went over for a visit this evening. The kitten was so cute, and I mean soooooooooooooooooooooooo cute, that I could barely watch the season premier of ANTM that was on the tv when I was there. That's how cute.
Murphy cuddled in my arms, she cuddled in Kansas's arms, played attack-cat with one of her toys, assumed the part of feline sentinel on the window sill, all before she proceeded to take her cat nap. I was so sad to leave. I did tell Kansas that when she wasn't looking I would stuff Murphy in my shirt to take her home. "Oh well, I guess if your cat doesn't want to say bye. What's that bulge in my shirt, you ask? Oh, you know. It's that time of the month. Really bloated."
Murphy cuddled in my arms, she cuddled in Kansas's arms, played attack-cat with one of her toys, assumed the part of feline sentinel on the window sill, all before she proceeded to take her cat nap. I was so sad to leave. I did tell Kansas that when she wasn't looking I would stuff Murphy in my shirt to take her home. "Oh well, I guess if your cat doesn't want to say bye. What's that bulge in my shirt, you ask? Oh, you know. It's that time of the month. Really bloated."
9.02.2008
summer in review
I may have to update this later with pictures, but I though it would be nice to summarize the summer of '08.
1. Toronto/Megabus/We Will Rock You:
My friend Jessica and I took a veeeeeeeerrrrrryyyyyyy long bus ride from NYC to Toronto just to see a musical. It was really exciting on a couple of levels; because I can't remember the last time I had a trip to anywhere that didn't involve family and because I finally got my passport. The city was beautiful, the food was wonderful, the sites were amazing, and the show was a bunch of fun with a really cute leading French-Canadian man. Mon dieu! Il était très beau.
2. Coney Island/Brooklyn Cyclones/Wonder Wheel:
I finally got of my butt and arraigned to have a group of current and ex-pat Vic'ers go to a ball game. A really decent sized group of us sat in the outfield bleachers on a gorgeous Friday night eating Nathans, trying to catch freebie shirts, and cheering for the home team. We ended our night with fireworks, fried dough and cotton candy, and a group ride in the Wonder Wheel (a stationary car, not the very scary swing car). A couple of us even rode the water flume that evening. From Coney Island to Astoria on the local N in sopping wet clothes in an air conditioned subway car. Fun.
3. Six Flags/Morality Police/That Sick-to-Your-Stomach Feeling by Noon:
On the last unofficial weekend of summer, me and part of my crew bused it out to,... well, we weren't quite sure, other than we knew we were in Jersey, to go to Six Flags. I haven't rode a roller coaster in like 8 years. I discovered that day that the amusement park is striving to become more wholesome and family friendly (ie: the little rule card you received prior to your park entry. No cursing, no midriffs, no smoking outside of the predesignated roped off 4x4 areas, etc... and it was enforced before our eyes!) and that I'm officially an old lady. I made it through 5 coasters and the air tram prior to lunchtime before I had to admit to myself that I'm not a teenager and can't take this tasting-my-stomach feeling.
I also learned that day that woman can not survive on chicken and potatoes alone. Where were the vitamins?!
4. Indiana/High School Graduation/Endless Pontoon Rides:
In as few words as possible...lots of corn fields; the step-kid didn't graduate; I didn't fish, but I got at least 3 books read.
5. Pool Parties/Psychiatrist/Other:
Other events of the summer include...
*graduating college
*swimming in a private pool (it's good to have friends who have things you can take advantage of)
*staring therapy with my other (and it's going... and going... and going...)
*attending summer concerts (Billy Idol and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers)
*going to the library for fun and not for assignments
*having every weekend off during the summer (I have not had Saturday AND Sunday off since I was unemployed)
*seeing lots of theatre (few good, most horrendous)
*and my never-before-seen Donna Reed impersonation (I cooked and cleaned house like a good little house wife-bleach!).
In summation:
This was certainly the best summer I've had since I moved to NY 8 years ago. It's great to know that I have lots of good friends to spend my time with and who all still know how to have a good time. It's one of those times in my life I'll be able to look back on fondly when I'm a senior citizen waiting in line for the early bird at the IHOP and I tell my friends from the rest home, "back in my day...". Good times.
1. Toronto/Megabus/We Will Rock You:
My friend Jessica and I took a veeeeeeeerrrrrryyyyyyy long bus ride from NYC to Toronto just to see a musical. It was really exciting on a couple of levels; because I can't remember the last time I had a trip to anywhere that didn't involve family and because I finally got my passport. The city was beautiful, the food was wonderful, the sites were amazing, and the show was a bunch of fun with a really cute leading French-Canadian man. Mon dieu! Il était très beau.
2. Coney Island/Brooklyn Cyclones/Wonder Wheel:
I finally got of my butt and arraigned to have a group of current and ex-pat Vic'ers go to a ball game. A really decent sized group of us sat in the outfield bleachers on a gorgeous Friday night eating Nathans, trying to catch freebie shirts, and cheering for the home team. We ended our night with fireworks, fried dough and cotton candy, and a group ride in the Wonder Wheel (a stationary car, not the very scary swing car). A couple of us even rode the water flume that evening. From Coney Island to Astoria on the local N in sopping wet clothes in an air conditioned subway car. Fun.
3. Six Flags/Morality Police/That Sick-to-Your-Stomach Feeling by Noon:
On the last unofficial weekend of summer, me and part of my crew bused it out to,... well, we weren't quite sure, other than we knew we were in Jersey, to go to Six Flags. I haven't rode a roller coaster in like 8 years. I discovered that day that the amusement park is striving to become more wholesome and family friendly (ie: the little rule card you received prior to your park entry. No cursing, no midriffs, no smoking outside of the predesignated roped off 4x4 areas, etc... and it was enforced before our eyes!) and that I'm officially an old lady. I made it through 5 coasters and the air tram prior to lunchtime before I had to admit to myself that I'm not a teenager and can't take this tasting-my-stomach feeling.
I also learned that day that woman can not survive on chicken and potatoes alone. Where were the vitamins?!
4. Indiana/High School Graduation/Endless Pontoon Rides:
In as few words as possible...lots of corn fields; the step-kid didn't graduate; I didn't fish, but I got at least 3 books read.
5. Pool Parties/Psychiatrist/Other:
Other events of the summer include...
*graduating college
*swimming in a private pool (it's good to have friends who have things you can take advantage of)
*staring therapy with my other (and it's going... and going... and going...)
*attending summer concerts (Billy Idol and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers)
*going to the library for fun and not for assignments
*having every weekend off during the summer (I have not had Saturday AND Sunday off since I was unemployed)
*seeing lots of theatre (few good, most horrendous)
*and my never-before-seen Donna Reed impersonation (I cooked and cleaned house like a good little house wife-bleach!).
In summation:
This was certainly the best summer I've had since I moved to NY 8 years ago. It's great to know that I have lots of good friends to spend my time with and who all still know how to have a good time. It's one of those times in my life I'll be able to look back on fondly when I'm a senior citizen waiting in line for the early bird at the IHOP and I tell my friends from the rest home, "back in my day...". Good times.
8.29.2008
I regret to report the following information
I received a one-two punch this afternoon while reading one of my favorite local news sources, Gothamist. At your own caution, please read this article.
Now, I loves me the grits. When I see grits offered on a New York City restaurant menu my inner child jumps up an down with joy, and, of course, I order them. And when I have the time, I will make grits at home (to be more exact, cheese grits, yum!). I never knew that you weren't supposed to inspect your grains (ie, grits, rice, quinoa, etc) before you cooked them. I just thought was something everyone did, you know, to check for pebbles and bugs. Oops. My bad for assuming. Apparently, basic food preparation, and basic respect for grits, is not something this restaurant is concerned with.
Too bad, because secondly, this restaurant was on the cupcake challenge list of places to purchase from in the future. It looks like we'll have to strike it off of the official roster. Can't you see the comments now? Cake: 6. Crunchy and full of protein. Dee-lish.
Now, I loves me the grits. When I see grits offered on a New York City restaurant menu my inner child jumps up an down with joy, and, of course, I order them. And when I have the time, I will make grits at home (to be more exact, cheese grits, yum!). I never knew that you weren't supposed to inspect your grains (ie, grits, rice, quinoa, etc) before you cooked them. I just thought was something everyone did, you know, to check for pebbles and bugs. Oops. My bad for assuming. Apparently, basic food preparation, and basic respect for grits, is not something this restaurant is concerned with.
Too bad, because secondly, this restaurant was on the cupcake challenge list of places to purchase from in the future. It looks like we'll have to strike it off of the official roster. Can't you see the comments now? Cake: 6. Crunchy and full of protein. Dee-lish.
8.20.2008
response to Isaac
If you haven't had the chance to read Isaac's post from yesterday regarding the interviews he's been conducting, please take the time to click here and read it before you continue with my post.
You're done? Ok.
The following one-sided conversation took place today between 11:00am and 11:05am.
Isaac's voicemail message: Hi, you've reached Isaac, [job title and job location withheld]. Please leave a message.
Me (in a blase sounding voice): Um, hi. I'm returning a call from this number (munching on corn chips). I'm waiting for a call for a job I applied for (crunch, smack). Oh, wait a sec. I've gotta turn down my Law and Order. I love that Stabler. He's so cute. Anyway, this is Tara [last name withheld] and I'm looking to relocate from Chicago. I think I want to do that. I'm not sure (crunch, chip bag rustling). So, I guess... yeah. I think that's it. Ok. Bye.
You're done? Ok.
The following one-sided conversation took place today between 11:00am and 11:05am.
Isaac's voicemail message: Hi, you've reached Isaac, [job title and job location withheld]. Please leave a message.
Me (in a blase sounding voice): Um, hi. I'm returning a call from this number (munching on corn chips). I'm waiting for a call for a job I applied for (crunch, smack). Oh, wait a sec. I've gotta turn down my Law and Order. I love that Stabler. He's so cute. Anyway, this is Tara [last name withheld] and I'm looking to relocate from Chicago. I think I want to do that. I'm not sure (crunch, chip bag rustling). So, I guess... yeah. I think that's it. Ok. Bye.
8.18.2008
as if I needed another reason
We, the people of the box office, in order to form a more perfect day, hate, hate, hate, HATE going to the Duane Reade on Broadway between 42nd and 43rd Streets, and try to find reason beyond reason to avoid it. Not only do they have about 2/3 less snack food inventory than the Readage on 42nd and 8th has, not only are the people who work there less caring and less on top of their jobs than their counterparts on the west side are, but now it is more dangerous to walk to that particular location.
As found in my favorite local news source, Gothamist, glass fell from one of the upper floors of 1 Times Square yesterday. As construction continues on the desperately awaited Walgreens that will soon grace our neighborhood in said building, material from a level that is not being worked on crashed onto a car below. Thankfully, nobody was hurt.
It's not the flying debris from one of the superfluous construction projects in the Times Square area that concerns me. It's the inconvenience of having a drugstore, in possibly one of the best locations ever imagined because it is so close to my office, having one more strike against it. If only I didn't have to walk a half of block further so I can get staples such as baked cheesy puffs and lime corn chips. What a life I could have had.
As found in my favorite local news source, Gothamist, glass fell from one of the upper floors of 1 Times Square yesterday. As construction continues on the desperately awaited Walgreens that will soon grace our neighborhood in said building, material from a level that is not being worked on crashed onto a car below. Thankfully, nobody was hurt.
It's not the flying debris from one of the superfluous construction projects in the Times Square area that concerns me. It's the inconvenience of having a drugstore, in possibly one of the best locations ever imagined because it is so close to my office, having one more strike against it. If only I didn't have to walk a half of block further so I can get staples such as baked cheesy puffs and lime corn chips. What a life I could have had.
8.12.2008
alla rip van winkle
If it wasn't for the comment of concern from laurenj, it probably would have been another week or so until my next post. I feel like I fell asleep from my blog and woke up 100 years later. But since there is a demand for my writing, I am willing to oblige.
Where-o-where has tarak been over the last couple of weeks? Well, last week I spent a few days in Toronto. My friend Jessica really wanted to see the musical We Will Rock You (the Queen jukebox musical for those of you not in the know about those sort of things) and invited me along. Toronto is a beautiful city. Really walkable. Surprisingly clean. Tons of green space. If you smooshed Park Slope with Prospect Park, the Financial District, and downtown Tampa together, you would get a close approximation of what Toronto is like. I could easily come back to visit.
There is also a big arts and entertainment community there. Jessica and I got caught in the rain on Tuesday walking to our hotel and we happened to run into a film shot. Anyone want to be an extra? Unfortunately, they weren't hiring that day.
The show was good. That's all I say about that. We ate very well, shopped a lot, and I felt so relaxed the entire trip (minus the bus trip there and back).
I came back on Thursday, went to work on Friday, and got on a bus again on Saturday morning to go to the German Alps Festival in the Catskills at Hunter Mountain. My goodness, talk about one of the most beautiful views I've seen in a long time. I went with my other and we listened to German rock bands, ate extremely good German food, and rode the ski lift to the top of Hunter Mountain. In a little co-inky-dink related to my title, we saw two stone carvers sculpting a Rip Van Winkle statue at the top of the mountain. The carvers only work on the statue during the summer months on the weekends (so people can see the carving process) and they estimated that the statue will be completed in 2010. I may have to go back in a year or two to see how they're coming along.
And then rest day on Sunday. I didn't do a damn thing. Screw the laundry. Not gonna make anything harder than leftovers. It was really nice to just veg.
As to what I was doing the two weeks before my international trip, I've been focusing on being more sensitive and open with my other since we started going to counseling. He's admitted to me that he's never really took to heart much of what I said when it came to our disagreements and now what I've been saying is starting to sink in. As much as it hurt to hear him say that he wasn't listening to me, I'm glad he admitted it.
Well, I guess that's it. Really looking forward to going to see the Cyclones with all of my favorite peeps and also looking forward to today's half day at work. I feel sooooo exhausted and need a nap. But I want an iced coffee. I'm so conflicted, can I have it all?
Where-o-where has tarak been over the last couple of weeks? Well, last week I spent a few days in Toronto. My friend Jessica really wanted to see the musical We Will Rock You (the Queen jukebox musical for those of you not in the know about those sort of things) and invited me along. Toronto is a beautiful city. Really walkable. Surprisingly clean. Tons of green space. If you smooshed Park Slope with Prospect Park, the Financial District, and downtown Tampa together, you would get a close approximation of what Toronto is like. I could easily come back to visit.
There is also a big arts and entertainment community there. Jessica and I got caught in the rain on Tuesday walking to our hotel and we happened to run into a film shot. Anyone want to be an extra? Unfortunately, they weren't hiring that day.
The show was good. That's all I say about that. We ate very well, shopped a lot, and I felt so relaxed the entire trip (minus the bus trip there and back).
I came back on Thursday, went to work on Friday, and got on a bus again on Saturday morning to go to the German Alps Festival in the Catskills at Hunter Mountain. My goodness, talk about one of the most beautiful views I've seen in a long time. I went with my other and we listened to German rock bands, ate extremely good German food, and rode the ski lift to the top of Hunter Mountain. In a little co-inky-dink related to my title, we saw two stone carvers sculpting a Rip Van Winkle statue at the top of the mountain. The carvers only work on the statue during the summer months on the weekends (so people can see the carving process) and they estimated that the statue will be completed in 2010. I may have to go back in a year or two to see how they're coming along.
And then rest day on Sunday. I didn't do a damn thing. Screw the laundry. Not gonna make anything harder than leftovers. It was really nice to just veg.
As to what I was doing the two weeks before my international trip, I've been focusing on being more sensitive and open with my other since we started going to counseling. He's admitted to me that he's never really took to heart much of what I said when it came to our disagreements and now what I've been saying is starting to sink in. As much as it hurt to hear him say that he wasn't listening to me, I'm glad he admitted it.
Well, I guess that's it. Really looking forward to going to see the Cyclones with all of my favorite peeps and also looking forward to today's half day at work. I feel sooooo exhausted and need a nap. But I want an iced coffee. I'm so conflicted, can I have it all?
7.21.2008
should this concern me as much as it does?
I love/loath my spam folder. It provides me with at least 5 minutes of enjoyment/despisement every day. Besides the hundreds of e-mails I receive about cleansing my colon, I frequently discard spam from Kaplan University, penis enlargements, offers to sell my timeshare.
Today I found one who's subject line worried me, because I know that there is some stu (short for stupid person) out there that would actually think this is a good idea. From: Burn Clean. Subject: "Cars Can Run on a Gas + Water Mixture Saving you $." I'm not saying that because at one time I owned a car, it means that I know anything about cars. But somehow, instinctively, mixing gas and water does not seem like a good idea. Much less, putting that combination in your car. I'm sure that if diluting petrol was smart everyone would be doing it already and I wouldn't need a piece of spam to let me know it was a good idea.
However, you can go to car2water.com and buy a conversion kit. I don't know what exactly they are selling or how the science would work (would it be like making salad dressing where you have to emulsify the oil and water?). But then again, look at the guy who's selling it:
Just looking at him makes me want to set up a chem lab in my kitchen and churn water into gasoline.
Today I found one who's subject line worried me, because I know that there is some stu (short for stupid person) out there that would actually think this is a good idea. From: Burn Clean. Subject: "Cars Can Run on a Gas + Water Mixture Saving you $." I'm not saying that because at one time I owned a car, it means that I know anything about cars. But somehow, instinctively, mixing gas and water does not seem like a good idea. Much less, putting that combination in your car. I'm sure that if diluting petrol was smart everyone would be doing it already and I wouldn't need a piece of spam to let me know it was a good idea.
However, you can go to car2water.com and buy a conversion kit. I don't know what exactly they are selling or how the science would work (would it be like making salad dressing where you have to emulsify the oil and water?). But then again, look at the guy who's selling it:
Just looking at him makes me want to set up a chem lab in my kitchen and churn water into gasoline.
7.14.2008
weekend in review
In no particular order...
1. I meet my Japanese friend yesterday for coffee and she's really great to talk to. She speaks pretty good English but she's still learning. She always tells me new words that she's recently learned. Last week while translating at a physical therapy conference, she told me, she learned specular. It sounded like a legit word, but I immediately thought she meant speculum (see last gyno post on that word). But then she described the word and we figured out that she meant scapular (shoulder). Don't you love the subtle complexities of English?
2. I saw The National Theater of Scotland's production of The Bacchae this weekend, staring Alan Cumming. It was a new translation of the classic Euripides tragedy, by David Greig. This production was really good. The chorus was a group of black female singers all with outstanding vocal range. Every main character got to have at least one song with the chorus. The set was minimalistic and modern. Alan Cumming was reminiscent of the Emcee from Cabaret, but it worked. Then, the entire pace of the play halted to a crawl after Agave's (mother of Pentheus, the bad guy), entrance. It was as if she was trying to act through her actions and not the text and she took waaaaaaaayyyyyy to long to get from her musical moment to her monologue. Everyone else worked really hard and then she comes in the last 15 minutes of the play and fucks it all up. Nice going, lady.
3. I love the great outdoors but the great outdoors does not love me. Exhibit A: bug bites...everywhere. Legs, back, neck, arms, you name it. I was at the home of the Jost yesterday for a BBQ and while I was feasting of chicken wings and s'mores the bugs were feasting on me. There was not enough bug spray and anti-itch cream to take care of the problem. But, the good thing was by the time I had at least one drink from every drink group the bugs stopped biting or I didn't know they were biting because I was numb from the alcohol. Despite, it was a fun party.
1. I meet my Japanese friend yesterday for coffee and she's really great to talk to. She speaks pretty good English but she's still learning. She always tells me new words that she's recently learned. Last week while translating at a physical therapy conference, she told me, she learned specular. It sounded like a legit word, but I immediately thought she meant speculum (see last gyno post on that word). But then she described the word and we figured out that she meant scapular (shoulder). Don't you love the subtle complexities of English?
2. I saw The National Theater of Scotland's production of The Bacchae this weekend, staring Alan Cumming. It was a new translation of the classic Euripides tragedy, by David Greig. This production was really good. The chorus was a group of black female singers all with outstanding vocal range. Every main character got to have at least one song with the chorus. The set was minimalistic and modern. Alan Cumming was reminiscent of the Emcee from Cabaret, but it worked. Then, the entire pace of the play halted to a crawl after Agave's (mother of Pentheus, the bad guy), entrance. It was as if she was trying to act through her actions and not the text and she took waaaaaaaayyyyyy to long to get from her musical moment to her monologue. Everyone else worked really hard and then she comes in the last 15 minutes of the play and fucks it all up. Nice going, lady.
3. I love the great outdoors but the great outdoors does not love me. Exhibit A: bug bites...everywhere. Legs, back, neck, arms, you name it. I was at the home of the Jost yesterday for a BBQ and while I was feasting of chicken wings and s'mores the bugs were feasting on me. There was not enough bug spray and anti-itch cream to take care of the problem. But, the good thing was by the time I had at least one drink from every drink group the bugs stopped biting or I didn't know they were biting because I was numb from the alcohol. Despite, it was a fun party.
7.08.2008
the happiest place on earth
That's right kiddies, I'm talking about the place that just gets better and better every time I go there... the OB-GYN office! YAY!!! Wanna hear the latest?
So, today was my 3rd visit to this particular doctor since November. While it's not that unusual to me for me to know that office inside and out (I used to take Depo shots ever 3 months for years), my last 2 visits were follow-ups. I was calm as (what's a good simile here?) a whatever, I guess. Well, you know how it goes. 2pm appointment means that you have to kill 10 minutes filling out new paperwork, even though you've been a patient since 1948, and then you have to wait 30 minutes for them to tell you that they are 45 minutes backed up. Backed up for what? The only excusable reason would be because someone's vagina exploded. Even then, I may not forgive the back up. Oh, also, out of 5 patient rooms the only room you can go into, because of the specialized equipment that will be used on you, they just put another patient in there, and they don't know how long you'll have to wait for that room. Finally, at 3:15 I was allowed into the room with the specialized equipment... which had to be wheeled in from the storage closet. Fuck!
There's nothing like being in a doctor's examination room alone with your thoughts. I easily had 10 minutes to kill while waiting for my gyno. I counted 8, or was it 9, speculums on the table, 5 trays of plastic tubes used to collect samples, 1 Georgia O'Keeffe print (tasteless in this setting, think about it), and 2 garbage cans, one marked "for paper only" and the other "hazardous materials." I wondered if that's where they put the exploding vagina. That made me laugh. Any easing of tension and stress is good.
Nurse came in. "When was your last period?" Who the fuck keeps track of that at a time like this? Of course I left my date book at work. So, I counted the empty slots in my birth control pill packet to give her a rough estimate. I went to the bathroom to change into that stupid hospital gown they give you. I quickly discovered that I had to change the answer I gave to the nurse about my period.
Finally, after an explanation of the procedure the doctor was going to perform on me, I slide my feet into the stirrups with no difficulty and began my yoga breathing to calm myself down.
My god. It feels like all 8 or 9 speculums were used on me at the same time. Ouch.
So, today was my 3rd visit to this particular doctor since November. While it's not that unusual to me for me to know that office inside and out (I used to take Depo shots ever 3 months for years), my last 2 visits were follow-ups. I was calm as (what's a good simile here?) a whatever, I guess. Well, you know how it goes. 2pm appointment means that you have to kill 10 minutes filling out new paperwork, even though you've been a patient since 1948, and then you have to wait 30 minutes for them to tell you that they are 45 minutes backed up. Backed up for what? The only excusable reason would be because someone's vagina exploded. Even then, I may not forgive the back up. Oh, also, out of 5 patient rooms the only room you can go into, because of the specialized equipment that will be used on you, they just put another patient in there, and they don't know how long you'll have to wait for that room. Finally, at 3:15 I was allowed into the room with the specialized equipment... which had to be wheeled in from the storage closet. Fuck!
There's nothing like being in a doctor's examination room alone with your thoughts. I easily had 10 minutes to kill while waiting for my gyno. I counted 8, or was it 9, speculums on the table, 5 trays of plastic tubes used to collect samples, 1 Georgia O'Keeffe print (tasteless in this setting, think about it), and 2 garbage cans, one marked "for paper only" and the other "hazardous materials." I wondered if that's where they put the exploding vagina. That made me laugh. Any easing of tension and stress is good.
Nurse came in. "When was your last period?" Who the fuck keeps track of that at a time like this? Of course I left my date book at work. So, I counted the empty slots in my birth control pill packet to give her a rough estimate. I went to the bathroom to change into that stupid hospital gown they give you. I quickly discovered that I had to change the answer I gave to the nurse about my period.
Finally, after an explanation of the procedure the doctor was going to perform on me, I slide my feet into the stirrups with no difficulty and began my yoga breathing to calm myself down.
My god. It feels like all 8 or 9 speculums were used on me at the same time. Ouch.
7.06.2008
american behavior
I've lived in NY for over 7 years and I have never gone out and braved the crowds to see the Macy's fireworks. I've usually stayed at home or gone to a friend's house to watch the fireworks on tv.
This year, my friend Jessica invited me and my other to go to Gantry State Park in Long Island City to see the 4th of July festivities. The park was finally open after a major renovation and Jessica wanted to go early to get a good spot on the lawn. I was on volunteer-advocate duty until 6pm. Of course, out of 6 people on call that day I was the only person to get a call to the hospital and it was at 4pm. That meant that I was sure not to get out until at least quarter after 6pm. And I was in bad need of a shower.
Around 7, Jess called to say that the police were beginning to cut off access to the park and they were handing out wrist bracelets for the area. I knew that there was no way we were getting to Gantry before the NYPD closed it off. 5 minutes later, Jess called to say that she got 2 extra bracelets for me and my other so we can get in. She would just pass us the wrist bands thought the fence as soon as we got there. No probs, right?
We got there by 8pm. After going through the security checkpoint we walked up to a crowd of thousands. Thank goodness for cell phones because I'd never find myself in a crowd. As it turned out, the police wasn't letting anyone out of the gated park area, even if they have a bracelet to reenter. How was Jess going to get the bracelets to us? She tried to leave to say she had to get a pizza she ordered. That didn't work. She had her teenage cousin say that her parents were outside of the gates. That didn't work. Finally, we got to the gate, Jess was on the other end. There was about 20 feet of security between us. Finally, she told a cop that I had come by to drop off something to her and that she had to give something to me. She was let through. We switched bags. Inside the bag she gave me had a plastic container with the two bracelets inside. The drop was made. I felt like I picked up some hard core drugs. Carefully, in the middle of thousands of people without the precious orange tag that guaranteed a prime view of the fireworks, my other an I put on our bands, said a quick prayer that the cop who saw the switch wouldn't recognize us, and walked through the 20 feet of security. Freedom.
Even in the rain, we had a great view and a great time. I probably wouldn't have enjoyed the night if I was packed in like a sardine next to the waterfront. After sneaking through security for a good firework viewing spot, I feel dangerous. What's next for me? I might jay walk. Or worse, litter. I'm a criminal.
This year, my friend Jessica invited me and my other to go to Gantry State Park in Long Island City to see the 4th of July festivities. The park was finally open after a major renovation and Jessica wanted to go early to get a good spot on the lawn. I was on volunteer-advocate duty until 6pm. Of course, out of 6 people on call that day I was the only person to get a call to the hospital and it was at 4pm. That meant that I was sure not to get out until at least quarter after 6pm. And I was in bad need of a shower.
Around 7, Jess called to say that the police were beginning to cut off access to the park and they were handing out wrist bracelets for the area. I knew that there was no way we were getting to Gantry before the NYPD closed it off. 5 minutes later, Jess called to say that she got 2 extra bracelets for me and my other so we can get in. She would just pass us the wrist bands thought the fence as soon as we got there. No probs, right?
We got there by 8pm. After going through the security checkpoint we walked up to a crowd of thousands. Thank goodness for cell phones because I'd never find myself in a crowd. As it turned out, the police wasn't letting anyone out of the gated park area, even if they have a bracelet to reenter. How was Jess going to get the bracelets to us? She tried to leave to say she had to get a pizza she ordered. That didn't work. She had her teenage cousin say that her parents were outside of the gates. That didn't work. Finally, we got to the gate, Jess was on the other end. There was about 20 feet of security between us. Finally, she told a cop that I had come by to drop off something to her and that she had to give something to me. She was let through. We switched bags. Inside the bag she gave me had a plastic container with the two bracelets inside. The drop was made. I felt like I picked up some hard core drugs. Carefully, in the middle of thousands of people without the precious orange tag that guaranteed a prime view of the fireworks, my other an I put on our bands, said a quick prayer that the cop who saw the switch wouldn't recognize us, and walked through the 20 feet of security. Freedom.
Even in the rain, we had a great view and a great time. I probably wouldn't have enjoyed the night if I was packed in like a sardine next to the waterfront. After sneaking through security for a good firework viewing spot, I feel dangerous. What's next for me? I might jay walk. Or worse, litter. I'm a criminal.
7.01.2008
i can sympathize
Have you ever had one of those days where you couldn't contain yourself? Sometimes, mine go like this:
Now I want a cookie. Damn.
Now I want a cookie. Damn.
sweet jesus, it's july already?
Well, summer is in full force. And that means the following for me:
1. ac at home not working
2. crabby, defiant other
3. nothing in my life to commit my time to other than work
Therefore... too much free time + sweaty other = evenings at home that are 2 swears words short of a fist fight. It's an algebraic formula for disaster.
I swear. If he tries to talk to me one more time, I might have to give him a pair of cement shoes and a one-way ticket to the East River aquarium. I'm in a play, he says I'm never home and he feel neglected. I'm home, I'm crowding him. God!
*Disclaimer. I'm joking about the cement shoes. I really love him, but I'm just counting the days until I whip out my grievance list for the couple's therapist. I'm hoping it works out.
1. ac at home not working
2. crabby, defiant other
3. nothing in my life to commit my time to other than work
Therefore... too much free time + sweaty other = evenings at home that are 2 swears words short of a fist fight. It's an algebraic formula for disaster.
I swear. If he tries to talk to me one more time, I might have to give him a pair of cement shoes and a one-way ticket to the East River aquarium. I'm in a play, he says I'm never home and he feel neglected. I'm home, I'm crowding him. God!
*Disclaimer. I'm joking about the cement shoes. I really love him, but I'm just counting the days until I whip out my grievance list for the couple's therapist. I'm hoping it works out.
6.22.2008
sunday morning
Well boys and girls... this afternoon is my last performance of my play and I am sad and happy and satisfied all at the same time. All in all, I've enjoyed my co-stars and the play. The story line was a little hokey (if you would have seen it you would have known what I am talking about) but it's one of those things that we wished that since we had physical access to the playwright we would have liked to have workshopped the play some, working out the script kinks and all, before staging.
On the positive side, I can't remember the last time I got along with all of the other actors in a play I was performing in. Never mind the technicality that there were only 3 total actors in the play and that the other two people were guys (which for some reason I never have a problem getting along with). But it still counts.
Prior to every performance, we run our lines and, without fail, always side track and make jokes and question lines or actions within the piece. We can never get through a line reading without distraction. Well, thank god for distractions and side comments during line readings, cause I would have never been prepared for the disaster that hit me within my first 2 minutes of begin on stage last night. I have a page of dialogue with someone who is a stranger in my house and then a baby is supposed to cry. My next line is in reaction to the baby crying. Well, the baby didn't cry. What was I to do? Should I say, "Oh, we woke the baby," like my line is supposed to be said even though the audience clearly didn't hear a baby cry or do I just walk off stage and jump a whole page of dialogue or do I sound like an idiot and say something that would sound like an unprovoked comment that seems out of character and makes you wonder why I'm still talking to this person. Naturally, I took the idiot route. "Oh, you know that Bob and I have a baby." Even that didn't cue the actor into saying his line and getting us back on track. He just said, "Oh you just go ahead." Oh SHIT! He was supposed to ask about the baby. FUCK! So I said another off-character thing. "We have a beautiful little girl." Then he said, "Son-of-a-gun, boy or girl?" I nearly wet myself with fear-laughter because he knew, and I knew he knew, and he knew that I knew, that he was off. Damn baby screwing up the scene. There were a few other moments in the play that made my director cringe, but for every screw up in the play last night I can confidently say that we all collectively knew as a group exactly what went wrong and did a good job of taking care of each other and making it look natural. The audience had no idea. Suckers.
There's nothing like performing to get you in the mood to do another play. This has been a really great week for acting related things. Kansas expertly helped me with my resume (and when I say help I mean she took one look at my pitiful excuse of a resume and grabbed it out of my hand and reworked it herself. Thanks, babe! It looks great.) and Shanel took pics of me so I could have a temporary headshot. The session with Shanel was an experience because I know NOTHING about photoshots (my last "session" was my high school graduation photos) and I realized how heavy I have gotten in the past 7 years (that's a lie, I've always been aware of how heavy I have gotten, it just made me cry on the inside when I saw it on film that this is how I present my physical self for auditions. Yuck!). But I'm in a good place to start auditioning. Casting directors, here I come!
On an unrelated note, I got my passport in the mail yesterday. Boy, were they fast! I received it less than 2 weeks after I submitted the application. I'm so excited. My first trip with my new form of government issued identification will be in August when I go to Toronto. Yeah, I know it's not the same as going across the Atlantic, but I'm as pleased as punch to be going somewhere that's not within the continental 48. Yay me!
On the positive side, I can't remember the last time I got along with all of the other actors in a play I was performing in. Never mind the technicality that there were only 3 total actors in the play and that the other two people were guys (which for some reason I never have a problem getting along with). But it still counts.
Prior to every performance, we run our lines and, without fail, always side track and make jokes and question lines or actions within the piece. We can never get through a line reading without distraction. Well, thank god for distractions and side comments during line readings, cause I would have never been prepared for the disaster that hit me within my first 2 minutes of begin on stage last night. I have a page of dialogue with someone who is a stranger in my house and then a baby is supposed to cry. My next line is in reaction to the baby crying. Well, the baby didn't cry. What was I to do? Should I say, "Oh, we woke the baby," like my line is supposed to be said even though the audience clearly didn't hear a baby cry or do I just walk off stage and jump a whole page of dialogue or do I sound like an idiot and say something that would sound like an unprovoked comment that seems out of character and makes you wonder why I'm still talking to this person. Naturally, I took the idiot route. "Oh, you know that Bob and I have a baby." Even that didn't cue the actor into saying his line and getting us back on track. He just said, "Oh you just go ahead." Oh SHIT! He was supposed to ask about the baby. FUCK! So I said another off-character thing. "We have a beautiful little girl." Then he said, "Son-of-a-gun, boy or girl?" I nearly wet myself with fear-laughter because he knew, and I knew he knew, and he knew that I knew, that he was off. Damn baby screwing up the scene. There were a few other moments in the play that made my director cringe, but for every screw up in the play last night I can confidently say that we all collectively knew as a group exactly what went wrong and did a good job of taking care of each other and making it look natural. The audience had no idea. Suckers.
There's nothing like performing to get you in the mood to do another play. This has been a really great week for acting related things. Kansas expertly helped me with my resume (and when I say help I mean she took one look at my pitiful excuse of a resume and grabbed it out of my hand and reworked it herself. Thanks, babe! It looks great.) and Shanel took pics of me so I could have a temporary headshot. The session with Shanel was an experience because I know NOTHING about photoshots (my last "session" was my high school graduation photos) and I realized how heavy I have gotten in the past 7 years (that's a lie, I've always been aware of how heavy I have gotten, it just made me cry on the inside when I saw it on film that this is how I present my physical self for auditions. Yuck!). But I'm in a good place to start auditioning. Casting directors, here I come!
On an unrelated note, I got my passport in the mail yesterday. Boy, were they fast! I received it less than 2 weeks after I submitted the application. I'm so excited. My first trip with my new form of government issued identification will be in August when I go to Toronto. Yeah, I know it's not the same as going across the Atlantic, but I'm as pleased as punch to be going somewhere that's not within the continental 48. Yay me!
6.18.2008
call me neo
Last night, after dinner at a Chinese restaurant, I opened my fortune cookie and found the following fortune:
Among the lucky, you are the chosen one
No pressure or anything, right?
6.16.2008
and the winner is...
Well boys and girls, it looks like Kansas and I tied in our unofficial 1st annual 62nd Annual Tony Awards survey. Thank you to all of the people whom we predicted would win (winners we got right are highlighted in the previous Tony post). And to the others, well... better luck next year.
I have to say that I was more excited about the plays this past season than anything else. Don't get me wrong, I love a good musical as much as the next girl and I love a great musical even more. But this was the year where I saw more plays than I could shake a stick at, and for the most part they were all wonderful. It was a good year for drama-viewing for me.
And speaking of shows... my one-act is going well, thanks for asking. I completed two out of five scheduled performances. The audience seems to be enjoying it. My energy and comfort level were much better on Sunday than it was on Saturday (opening). The playwright and the director were encouraging and gave me great support. As long as they think I'm doing well, that's all I could hope for.
So, with that said, I'm going to go to sleep now. Yeah, I know that I'm at work and all, but any chance I can get in a little shut-eye I'll take it. Don't judge.
I have to say that I was more excited about the plays this past season than anything else. Don't get me wrong, I love a good musical as much as the next girl and I love a great musical even more. But this was the year where I saw more plays than I could shake a stick at, and for the most part they were all wonderful. It was a good year for drama-viewing for me.
And speaking of shows... my one-act is going well, thanks for asking. I completed two out of five scheduled performances. The audience seems to be enjoying it. My energy and comfort level were much better on Sunday than it was on Saturday (opening). The playwright and the director were encouraging and gave me great support. As long as they think I'm doing well, that's all I could hope for.
So, with that said, I'm going to go to sleep now. Yeah, I know that I'm at work and all, but any chance I can get in a little shut-eye I'll take it. Don't judge.
6.13.2008
i'm pretty sure...
...even though I had a really bad rehearsal tonight, tomorrow's opening is going to be just fine.
...my co-star's girlfriend flirted with me. And I liked it.
...I'm physically reverting (however slowly) back to my former self. Size 8 here I come.
...that most of my problems are not about me.
...that I'm on the right career track.
...that I have more talent and personality and love than I realize or am willing to admit.
...that it's okay for me to be unsure of what I believe as long as I believe in me.
...my self esteem is in a good place. How could it not be, a cute chick flirted with me.
...my co-star's girlfriend flirted with me. And I liked it.
...I'm physically reverting (however slowly) back to my former self. Size 8 here I come.
...that most of my problems are not about me.
...that I'm on the right career track.
...that I have more talent and personality and love than I realize or am willing to admit.
...that it's okay for me to be unsure of what I believe as long as I believe in me.
...my self esteem is in a good place. How could it not be, a cute chick flirted with me.
6.10.2008
day, what number did I leave off at?
I am sure you have realized, but are kind enough not to have pointed out, that I am no longer writing my daily or weekly exercise and writing diary. It is because I have been in rehearsals and castings for two shows, have taken a week long trip to the middle of America, and have not found the inspiration to get up before the sun has completed said action. In other words... I suck. I have not found it in me to establish a routine or to make either of these two activities a priority. Again, I suck.
However, I figure I'm getting some exercise anyway, as I am briskly walking down the path to hell.
However, I figure I'm getting some exercise anyway, as I am briskly walking down the path to hell.
because tony said so
I forced my co-workers to participate in my 1st annual 62nd Annual Tony Award nomination survey. Because I love them. Because I wanted them to amuse me. Because I said so. And here it is, our votes for this year's Tony Awards:
*Disclaimer - Two of the nominators listed below requested to be listed under an "assumed" identity (can you guess which ones?). They did not put their whole hearts into this task. They abated my request to play along with this time waster, but they still suck because they had too many demands this blogger was reluctant to fulfill. The other nominator picked her choices with lighting speed. However, I'm sure that if it turns out she got the most correct guesses she will do a victory dance in the office. None of the nominators, including myself, have seen all of the nominated shows.
Choreography
Jasmine- Rob Ashford, Cry Baby
Kansas- Rob Ashford, Cry Baby
Imani- Dan Knectges, Xanadu
Me- Rob Ashford, Cry Baby
Orchestrations
Jasmine- Jason Carr, Sunday in the Park with George
Kansas- Alex Lacamoire & Bill Sherman, In the Heights
Imani- Alex Lacamoire & Bill Sherman, In the Heights
Me- Jason Carr, Sunday in the Park with George
Book of a Musical
Jasmine- Mark O'Donnell & Thomas Meehan, Cry Baby
Kansas- Stew & Heidi Rodewald, Passing Strange
Imani- Stew & Heidi Rodewald, Passing Strange
Me- Douglas Carter Beane, Xanadu
Original Score
Jasmine- Alan Menken et al, The Little Mermaid
Kansas- Lin-Manuel Miranda, In the Heights
Imani- Lin-Manuel Miranda, In the Heights
Me- Lin-Manuel Miranda, In the Heights
Scenic Design (Play)
Jasmine- Anthony Ward, Macbeth
Kansas- Anthony Ward, Macbeth
Imani- Todd Rosenthal, August: Osage County
Me- Peter McKintosh, The 39 Steps
Scenic Design (Musical)
Jasmine- David Farley et al, Sunday in the Park with George
Kansas- David Farley et al, Sunday in the Park with George
Imani- Anna Louizos, In the Heights
Me- David Farley et al, Sunday in the Park with George
Costume Design (Play)
Jasmine- Katrina Lindsay, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Kansas- Katrina Lindsay, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Imani- Peter McKintosh, The 39 Steps
Me- Katrina Lindsay, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Costume Design (Musical)
Jasmine- Martin Pakledinaz, Gypsy
Kansas- Catherine Zuber, South Pacific
Imani- Paul Tazewell, In the Heights
Me- Catherine Zuber, South Pacific
Lighting Design (Play)
Jasmine- Donald Holder, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Kansas- Howard Harrison, Macbeth
Imani- Howard Harrison, Macbeth
Me- Kevin Adams, The 39 Steps
Lighting Design (Musical)
Jasmine- Natasha Katz, The Little Mermaid
Kansas- Natasha Katz, The Little Mermaid
Imani- Natasha Katz, The Little Mermaid
Me- Natasha Katz, The Little Mermaid
Sound Design (Play)
Jasmine- Ian Dickinson, Rock n Roll
Kansas- Ian Dickinson, Rock n Roll
Imani- Adam Cork, Macbeth
Me- Ian Dickinson, Rock n Roll
Sound Design (Musical)
Jasmine- Dan Moses Schreier, Gypsy
Kansas- Scott Lehrer, South Pacific
Imani- Dan Moses Schreier, Gypsy
Me- Scott Lehrer, South Pacific
Direction (Play)
Jasmine- Conor McPherson, The Seafarer
Kansas- Maria Aitken, The 39 Steps
Imani- Anna D. Shapiro, August: Osage County
Me- Anna D. Shapiro, August: Osage County
Direction (Musical)
Jasmine- Authur Laurents, Gypsy
Kansas- Bartlett Sher, South Pacific
Imani- Thomas Kail, In the Heights
Me- Bartlett Sher, South Pacific
Featured Actor (Play)
Jasmine- RAUL, The Homecoming
Kansas- Jim Norton, The Seafarer
Imani- Raul Esparza, The Homecoming
Me- Raul Esparza, The Homecoming
Feature Actress (Play)
Jasmine- Marth Plimpton, Top Girls
Kansas- Rondi Reed, August: Osage County
Imani- Laurie Metcalf, November
Me- Rondi Reed, August: Osage County
Featured Actor (Musical)
Jasmine- Boyd Gaines, Gypsy
Kansas- Boyd Gaines, Gypsy
Imani- Robin De Jesus, In the Heights
Me- Boyd Gaines, Gypsy
Feature Actress (Musical)
Jasmine- Laura Benanti, Gypsy
Kansas- Laura Benanti, Gypsy
Imani- Laura Benanti, Gypsy
Me-Loretta Ables Sayre, South Pacific
Actor (Play)
Jasmine- Rufus Sewell, Rock n Roll
Kansas- Ben Daniels, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Imani- Patrick Stewart, Macbeth
Me- Patrick Stewart, Macbeth
Actress (Play)
Jasmine- Deanna Dunagen, August: Osage County
Kansas- Deanna Dunagen, August: Osage County
Imani- Kate Fleetwood, Macbeth
Me- Deanna Dunagen, August: Osage County
Actor (Musical)
Jasmine- Daniel Evans, Sunday in the Park with George
Kansas- Lin-Manuel Miranda, In the Heights
Imani- Stew, Passing Strange
Me- Paulo Szot, South Pacific
Actress (Musical)
Jasmine- Patti Lupone, Gypsy
Kansas- Jenna Russell, Sunday in the Park with George
Imani- Patti Lupone, Gypsy
Me- Jenna Russell, Sunday in the Park with George
Play Revival
Jasmine- The Homecoming
Kansas- Boeing-Boeing
Imani- Macbeth
Me- Boeing-Boeing
Musical Revival
Jasmine- Gypsy
Kansas- South Pacific
Imani- Gypsy
Me- South Pacific
Play
Jasmine- The Seafarer
Kansas- August: Osage County
Imani- August: Osage County
Me- August: Osage County
Musical
Jasmine- Cry Baby (only because she didn't want to nominate Xanadu)
Kansas- In the Heights
Imani- Cry Baby
Me-In the Heights
*Disclaimer - Two of the nominators listed below requested to be listed under an "assumed" identity (can you guess which ones?). They did not put their whole hearts into this task. They abated my request to play along with this time waster, but they still suck because they had too many demands this blogger was reluctant to fulfill. The other nominator picked her choices with lighting speed. However, I'm sure that if it turns out she got the most correct guesses she will do a victory dance in the office. None of the nominators, including myself, have seen all of the nominated shows.
Choreography
Jasmine- Rob Ashford, Cry Baby
Kansas- Rob Ashford, Cry Baby
Imani- Dan Knectges, Xanadu
Me- Rob Ashford, Cry Baby
Orchestrations
Jasmine- Jason Carr, Sunday in the Park with George
Kansas- Alex Lacamoire & Bill Sherman, In the Heights
Imani- Alex Lacamoire & Bill Sherman, In the Heights
Me- Jason Carr, Sunday in the Park with George
Book of a Musical
Jasmine- Mark O'Donnell & Thomas Meehan, Cry Baby
Kansas- Stew & Heidi Rodewald, Passing Strange
Imani- Stew & Heidi Rodewald, Passing Strange
Me- Douglas Carter Beane, Xanadu
Original Score
Jasmine- Alan Menken et al, The Little Mermaid
Kansas- Lin-Manuel Miranda, In the Heights
Imani- Lin-Manuel Miranda, In the Heights
Me- Lin-Manuel Miranda, In the Heights
Scenic Design (Play)
Jasmine- Anthony Ward, Macbeth
Kansas- Anthony Ward, Macbeth
Imani- Todd Rosenthal, August: Osage County
Me- Peter McKintosh, The 39 Steps
Scenic Design (Musical)
Jasmine- David Farley et al, Sunday in the Park with George
Kansas- David Farley et al, Sunday in the Park with George
Imani- Anna Louizos, In the Heights
Me- David Farley et al, Sunday in the Park with George
Costume Design (Play)
Jasmine- Katrina Lindsay, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Kansas- Katrina Lindsay, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Imani- Peter McKintosh, The 39 Steps
Me- Katrina Lindsay, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Costume Design (Musical)
Jasmine- Martin Pakledinaz, Gypsy
Kansas- Catherine Zuber, South Pacific
Imani- Paul Tazewell, In the Heights
Me- Catherine Zuber, South Pacific
Lighting Design (Play)
Jasmine- Donald Holder, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Kansas- Howard Harrison, Macbeth
Imani- Howard Harrison, Macbeth
Me- Kevin Adams, The 39 Steps
Lighting Design (Musical)
Jasmine- Natasha Katz, The Little Mermaid
Kansas- Natasha Katz, The Little Mermaid
Imani- Natasha Katz, The Little Mermaid
Me- Natasha Katz, The Little Mermaid
Sound Design (Play)
Jasmine- Ian Dickinson, Rock n Roll
Kansas- Ian Dickinson, Rock n Roll
Imani- Adam Cork, Macbeth
Me- Ian Dickinson, Rock n Roll
Sound Design (Musical)
Jasmine- Dan Moses Schreier, Gypsy
Kansas- Scott Lehrer, South Pacific
Imani- Dan Moses Schreier, Gypsy
Me- Scott Lehrer, South Pacific
Direction (Play)
Jasmine- Conor McPherson, The Seafarer
Kansas- Maria Aitken, The 39 Steps
Imani- Anna D. Shapiro, August: Osage County
Me- Anna D. Shapiro, August: Osage County
Direction (Musical)
Jasmine- Authur Laurents, Gypsy
Kansas- Bartlett Sher, South Pacific
Imani- Thomas Kail, In the Heights
Me- Bartlett Sher, South Pacific
Featured Actor (Play)
Jasmine- RAUL, The Homecoming
Kansas- Jim Norton, The Seafarer
Imani- Raul Esparza, The Homecoming
Me- Raul Esparza, The Homecoming
Feature Actress (Play)
Jasmine- Marth Plimpton, Top Girls
Kansas- Rondi Reed, August: Osage County
Imani- Laurie Metcalf, November
Me- Rondi Reed, August: Osage County
Featured Actor (Musical)
Jasmine- Boyd Gaines, Gypsy
Kansas- Boyd Gaines, Gypsy
Imani- Robin De Jesus, In the Heights
Me- Boyd Gaines, Gypsy
Feature Actress (Musical)
Jasmine- Laura Benanti, Gypsy
Kansas- Laura Benanti, Gypsy
Imani- Laura Benanti, Gypsy
Me-Loretta Ables Sayre, South Pacific
Actor (Play)
Jasmine- Rufus Sewell, Rock n Roll
Kansas- Ben Daniels, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Imani- Patrick Stewart, Macbeth
Me- Patrick Stewart, Macbeth
Actress (Play)
Jasmine- Deanna Dunagen, August: Osage County
Kansas- Deanna Dunagen, August: Osage County
Imani- Kate Fleetwood, Macbeth
Me- Deanna Dunagen, August: Osage County
Actor (Musical)
Jasmine- Daniel Evans, Sunday in the Park with George
Kansas- Lin-Manuel Miranda, In the Heights
Imani- Stew, Passing Strange
Me- Paulo Szot, South Pacific
Actress (Musical)
Jasmine- Patti Lupone, Gypsy
Kansas- Jenna Russell, Sunday in the Park with George
Imani- Patti Lupone, Gypsy
Me- Jenna Russell, Sunday in the Park with George
Play Revival
Jasmine- The Homecoming
Kansas- Boeing-Boeing
Imani- Macbeth
Me- Boeing-Boeing
Musical Revival
Jasmine- Gypsy
Kansas- South Pacific
Imani- Gypsy
Me- South Pacific
Play
Jasmine- The Seafarer
Kansas- August: Osage County
Imani- August: Osage County
Me- August: Osage County
Musical
Jasmine- Cry Baby (only because she didn't want to nominate Xanadu)
Kansas- In the Heights
Imani- Cry Baby
Me-In the Heights
they are called the "never" and the "rarely" for a reason
God is all powerful. God is good and benevolent. There is no way any benevolent god would allow the MTA to exist. Therefore, god doesn't exist.
I left work at 6pm yesterday. I didn't have to be at rehearsal until 8-ish. I thought I would have enough time to stop at the Target in Queens (for one of my costume pieces) before I headed further into the dark hole of Queens, two more stops on the R. I had no problem getting into the city that morning. As soon as I left work I ran to the subway, and as soon as I stepped on to my platform in Times Square my train pulled up. And I got a seat in an air conditioned car. Sweet.
That was until I got to the 5th Avenue stop. We waited, and waited, and waited. It turns out that there was a stalled train at the last stop of the Astoria bound line. The train I was on wasn't even going to Astoria. I don't understand?! Just another classic example of all of the N/W trains backing up at one end of the line or the other and causing a problem for the rest of the system. By the time we left the station I knew there wasn't enough time to go to Target.
Listen MTA, just because you put a lot of brand spankin' new trains on the N/W line doesn't mean that you're going to fool the people who rely on that line into thinking the service is getting better. It still fucking sucks! The trains still get backed up. They still bypass the local stops and piss off the people who have been waiting in the rain or the snow or the unbearable heat for a goddamn train to pick them up. They still go express at the most inappropriate times. They still go unbelievably slow. And still stop on that scary hairpin curve right before Queensboro Plaza for whatever reason. And now you want to raise the price of my ride again? Fuck you, MTA. Get your shit together.
And to do that I'm going to start here, at the Straphangers Campaign site's complaint page. There, they let you know how to effectively articulate your complaint and who the right people are to address those complaints to. We all deserve decent affordable service and we aren't always getting it. Help stop the insanity and stand up for your right to a safe, clean, efficient, and reliable mode of transportation.
I left work at 6pm yesterday. I didn't have to be at rehearsal until 8-ish. I thought I would have enough time to stop at the Target in Queens (for one of my costume pieces) before I headed further into the dark hole of Queens, two more stops on the R. I had no problem getting into the city that morning. As soon as I left work I ran to the subway, and as soon as I stepped on to my platform in Times Square my train pulled up. And I got a seat in an air conditioned car. Sweet.
That was until I got to the 5th Avenue stop. We waited, and waited, and waited. It turns out that there was a stalled train at the last stop of the Astoria bound line. The train I was on wasn't even going to Astoria. I don't understand?! Just another classic example of all of the N/W trains backing up at one end of the line or the other and causing a problem for the rest of the system. By the time we left the station I knew there wasn't enough time to go to Target.
Listen MTA, just because you put a lot of brand spankin' new trains on the N/W line doesn't mean that you're going to fool the people who rely on that line into thinking the service is getting better. It still fucking sucks! The trains still get backed up. They still bypass the local stops and piss off the people who have been waiting in the rain or the snow or the unbearable heat for a goddamn train to pick them up. They still go express at the most inappropriate times. They still go unbelievably slow. And still stop on that scary hairpin curve right before Queensboro Plaza for whatever reason. And now you want to raise the price of my ride again? Fuck you, MTA. Get your shit together.
And to do that I'm going to start here, at the Straphangers Campaign site's complaint page. There, they let you know how to effectively articulate your complaint and who the right people are to address those complaints to. We all deserve decent affordable service and we aren't always getting it. Help stop the insanity and stand up for your right to a safe, clean, efficient, and reliable mode of transportation.
6.05.2008
target practice
I love it too, but for the point of my blog argument: Isaac loves to pick on me. Evidence:
1. I am a pupil in his whore school.
2. I must be related to Tara Reid because we share a first name and a habit of showing our breasts.
3. I'm a drunk...
4. ...who lives in the Everglades...
5. ... and goes to school using an alligator as my mode of transportation.
And now this... Toni Collette will be staring in a new Showtime series called The United States of Tara. And guess what. She plays a woman who has disassociative identity disorder (aka multiple personalities for those who don't have psych degrees).
Let the fun begin.
1. I am a pupil in his whore school.
2. I must be related to Tara Reid because we share a first name and a habit of showing our breasts.
3. I'm a drunk...
4. ...who lives in the Everglades...
5. ... and goes to school using an alligator as my mode of transportation.
And now this... Toni Collette will be staring in a new Showtime series called The United States of Tara. And guess what. She plays a woman who has disassociative identity disorder (aka multiple personalities for those who don't have psych degrees).
Let the fun begin.
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