winter break check in

My break from school is going well so far. I've been fairly rested, didn't gorge myself on the big holiday meal, was somewhat conservative during my holiday gift giving, patiently waited for the return of the cupcake battle, played tons of spider solitaire, contemplated some frivolous actions but restrained myself, continued reading a book that I didn't finish over the summer, and am jotting down as many ideas as I can cram into a journal since my horoscope said that I'm at an all time high for creativity. Whew!

I still have a lot to do...

... like cleaning out my closet. Now, I'm all about organizing, but my closets are 2 inches away from being useless. They are long and narrow (but not in the good sense of the image) and I have to walk in sideways to be able to get to my shelves. I've done the best I could. But it also becomes a matter of trying to keep up the organization. So, my other has wisely said that I can take care of the closet in the office. I think this was said for two reasons; because he knows that I would probably kill him if he got in my way, also because for some strange reason I can't recall what I ate for dinner last night but I could tell you where every object in my house is when asked because of where I put it.

... like knitting. I miss it and haven't had the time for in since the summer when it's too hot to do it. I've been meaning to make scarves for friends as presents, but it either takes me too long to make anything or it gets too complicated. It shouldn't. It's just a scarf. Perhaps I'll make a bunch of wrist warmers instead.

... like growing out my hair. I had my hair cut, and I had it highlighted, and it's short and blond. Everyone seems to like it but I'm still in a double-whammy shock. The color just needs to mellow out a bit and I just need to grow an inch or two of hair and it'll all be fine.

... like catch up on my theatre going. I recently saw Peter and Jerry at Second Stage and it was wonderful. I love Edward Albee's work and Bill Pullman who starred, and I've now fallen in love with Dallas Roberts who played Jerry. I can't believe I waited until the final weekend to see the show, but thank god for Friday matinees and student rush tickets.

... like start to think about what will happen to me once I graduate. In a little more than 4 weeks I'll begin my final undergraduate semester. I'm excited and sad at the same time. I like the safety of school but at the same time I'm so ready for it all to be over. But I don't want to grow up and get a real job but I don't want to be in school for the next 10 years.

... like have an early mid-life. Just for the heck of it. Maybe. No. Yes. Not sure. Yet.

working for a living

The following scene took place in the box office today between 6:00 and 6:20pm.

Isaac - (seeing a brush, hairspray and deodorant in my hands) Freshening up? Worked the afternoon shift and now you're going back for the night shift.
me - Yeah. By the way, can you go into my bag and grab the Summer's Eve?

what was your christmas wish?

crack is back!

Look at what I got as my first Christmas present (from IPJ). Yes ma'am, they're here and they're a habit-forming substance... so get used to it! Cadbury Mini Eggs, aka little eggies, chocolate abortions (courtesy of IPJ), and crack eggs. As you can see, I've already opened my bag up.

IPJ must really like me or else he wouldn't have gotten me this present, or he just thought that I'd go as crazy over these as he did. I'm not complaining. So far, this is the best present I've gotten all year.

Update: As of 1:42 pm, I sucked down my eggies. That'a right, I blew through my stash. Now I'll be in withdrawls until Easter.

fuck the to do list!

I tried. I really tried. It's been so rough and I don't want to admit that I bit off more than I could chew, but alas....

So, the holiday gift boxes were finally mailed out as of this morning. All done, bye, bye. Some house keeping, check. Showered and shaved, check. Rice pudding, check and yum.

I don't know why I even make a to do list, much less put any faith or hope into it. Perhaps it's because I want to have goals and it's an exercise for me in trying to obtain those goals. Ok, enough psycho-analyzing the damn to do list.

OMG... Isaac is playing Oregon Trail and I'm on his wagon (it's not the first time I've been on or off the wagon). He just said that I have typhoid fever. Quickly, he said "and you're going to die!" What a way to end my day. Please God, just let me get dysentery and get it over with.

to do list... let's try it again

1. finish the holiday buying, packing, shipping.
2. laundry
3. seek and destroy notes and papers from the semester
4. tackle the spare closet (it beat me last time)
5. make rice pudding (I'm half way there, I have the rice cooked)
6. clean out the fridge
7. bake cookies, or pies, or something delich so I can eat it all in one sitting tonight
8. work on a crafty-type of project
9. grocery shopping
10. pat my self on the back if I can get at least 5 of the above things done

learning to end world hunger

Have you ever been in the situation where you had to prepare for a standardized test but you couldn't stop thinking about how to help end world? Me neither. But, you guys still have to check this site out. It's called FreeRice.com. Essentially, you play an SAT prep type of vocab game, and for every correct answer the site will donate 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program. You don't have to sign up for anything, it's completely anonymous.

The money that is used to pay for the rice is provided by groups or companies that advertise on the site. The site is administered by Poverty.com, which was started by an individual who wanted to let people know about the problems with world hunger and to find practical solutions. The site has no religious, corporate, or political affiliation.

Please make sure to check out the site (and other sites) and pass it along to all of your friends.

I miss...

(in no particular order)...

free time.

year-round tropical weather.

cupcakes.

first kisses.

being really excited about a play.

roller skating.

boogie boarding.

acting.

my sanity.

my friends Shayla and Jamie.

sleepovers.

clubbing until 3am.

espresso milkshakes.

date night.

feelings

I don't know why I feel so anxious right now. Maybe it's because I'm not on any meds right now (side note: I recently had to quit a medication I was on because it was screwing up my system).

Or maybe it's because I can feel the clock ticking down towards several events. End of the semester and end of the year. Reflecting on this feeling, I'm thinking about what I will end up doing for New Year's Eve (nothing) and thinking about what I will do with my first true day off from school (sleeping). I'm not going anywhere for the holiday and perhaps that's a good thing. It should give me enough time to catch up on the things that I love but don't have the time to do; ie: go to a museum, catch an art flick, read a book for fun, knit a new scarf. I have a lot to look forward to.

As you can see from the above list, I didn't mention drinking and sex. It's not because I don't love these things (I do, I really do!) but it's because I don't need to catch up on drinking and I don't want to talk about sex at right now (touchy subject).

Perhaps there is a way to combine my passions in life. Like drinking at a museum opening. I'll let your dirty minds come up with the other possible combinations.

long-term thinking about a short-term goal

Today is my last free day from work & school (like peas & carrots = 1 vegetable item at some diners). So I decide to spend the day at the school half of my life. Despite my beautiful office-like setup at home, I can't seem to get anything done while in my apartment. I love to find excuses so I can procrastinate. For example: the dishes really need to get done, there's a Ken Burns documentary on channel 13, I have to write a post for my blog. You know, the usual.

So, I have a big goal for myself today, and that is to make sure the majority of my work is done. Majority, for formal purposes, means at least 51% of the total. Majority, for me, means at least 3/4 of my total final amount of work. That gives me some wiggle room, about 24% to be exact, to do less and not be upset by it. There are already too many things for me to get upset over and I'm not going to let school work be one of them.

Perhaps if I had a goal to work towards. Or an incentive. And I'm not talking about some crappy incentive like "it'll make you feel accomplished" or "the reward is knowing you did a good job." I mean something like a big fat cupcake! Or a movie. Or a cupcake that I snuck into the movies. (this is getting out of hand).

So here's the challenge...as my friends, I need someone...Anyone!... to make a suggestion as to what I should look forward to for accomplishing today's goal. Please do not put cupcakes as an option... unless you will provide me with one personally. In which case, I probably won't consider it a reward since I'm in a cupcake challenge. But in any case, I'll gladly accept it with little to no fuss.

silver and gold...and copper?

Because I believe in worthy causes, I thought that I'd share this organization that's doing great work. Common Cents is currently having an exhibit in Rockefeller Center called the Penny Harvest Field. According to their site, they are "an educational, not-for-profit organization, which specializes in creating and managing service-learning programs for young people." Isn't that great!

So far they have collected over 100 million pennies. And the pennies are on display at Rock Center from now until New Year's Eve, 9am-9pm, located north of the tree. Anyone want to go on a field trip to go see it?

and speaking of naughty....

I know how some of you feel about this already, but I had a fun time watching The Golden Compass. I'm sure I would have felt differently if I had read the books, but I liked it because: a) it had beautiful production elements, b) because I can't remember laughing so hard during a one-on-one battle, and c) Daniel Craig (look at those pursed lips).

Faith and I both whole-heartily agree that Mr. Craig is a tall glass of sexy, with a dollop of whipped cream. Yum. Oh wait, Faith says to make that one a Venti. We just think that his piercing blue eyes, his intense personality, and his overabundance of sex appeal make up for the handle bars on the side of his head. But then again, God put those ears on his head like that for a sexual reason and we say hallelujah.

As for the rest of the movie, it was fine and I had a good time with everyone. It didn't help that every time Liz laughed it only confirmed that it was okay to laugh at what I already thought was funny. I was so worried at first that if I laughed ipj would get mad at me, but he giggled a bit too. All in all, it was worth the company.

naughty or nice

Which one are you? To find out, take this quiz. When I took it, it said that I "need(ed) to try harder, cause (I'm) slipping a little down the Nice list." Whatever!

So, if you're not satisfied with the results, like me, then take this one. It was discovered that I was only 51% naughty. Maybe it's a bad day for me.

Not good enough? Try this one. It said that I was relatively good. Well, I'm relatively sure that the scoring is skewed.

How about this one? It determined that I was nice. Finally! A score a respectable girl like me can live with.

short and not so sweet

For those of you who may not know (gee whiz, here I go assuming that none of you know this) but the cupcake battle is experiencing an armistice (what a great freaking word). It's as if we are all on an extended legal holiday. Nice.

Until today. The theater I work at was having a fundraising benefit, complete with hors d'oeuvres, gift bags, balloons, etc, etc, etc. There was also an offering of free ice cream. When my boss told me that the ice cream was available for staff I began to have sugarplum fairy visions of last years ice cream extravaganza (which featured individually packed portions of Cold Stone Creamery). I grinned from ear to ear upon the though of french vanilla mixed with Reese cups and caramel. So I volunteered to gather a couple of afternoon treats for Isaac and me.

What initially was a smorgasbord of 9 promised choices turned into 4 bland options of hand scooped Ben and Jerry's. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking an ice cream horse in the mouth and I love Ben and Jerry's, but where was the chocolate chip cookie dough? The chubby hubby? Phish food? Half - baked!!!!!!!!???????

After I coolly asked the unhappy scooper for 2 orders of mint chocolate chip, I brought the ice creams back to my office and quietly ate my scoop before the mini heater melted what was left of my sweet dream.

forgotten holiday

There is an upcoming holiday that everyone should know about. It's more important than Christmas and more gratifying than spinning the dreidel during Chanukah. Tomorrow, December 8th, is National Chocolate Brownie Day. Yay!!!!!

To celebrate, mix your batter, bake your brownies, and add a dollop of fresh whipped cream. Share this holiday with the ones you love... or as least the ones who'll understand.

And, to inspire you to make great brownies, below is a recipe I found that I think is perfect for this particular month.

Peppermint Bark Brownies

1 cup butter, plus more for greasing dish
4 squares unsweetened baking chocolate, chopped
2 cups sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour
4 eggs, lightly beaten
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup chopped peppermint bark

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F and grease a 9 by 13-inch baking dish. Line the dish with a piece of parchment paper that extends up beyond the edge of the pan on the 2 wide sides of the dish and lightly grease the parchment. The paper will serve as handles when you are ready to remove the brownies from the pan.

In the top of a double boiler or in a microwave, melt the chocolate and butter until completely smooth. Add the sugar, flour, eggs, and vanilla and stir to blend. Stir in the peppermint bark and transfer to the prepared baking pan. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center just comes out clean - it's ok if there are a couple of small fudgy crumbs adhering to the toothpick. It's better to undercook these slightly than overcook them - these brownies are meant to be fudgy.

Transfer to a cooling rack and allow to cool completely. Using your hands, lift up firmly on the parchment paper pieces and transfer to a flat surface. (If the paper is stubborn, run a thin knife around the edge of the pan, or loosen the brownies slightly with the help of an offset spatula.) Cut the brownies into 2 1/2-inch squares and serve at room temperature.

Peppermint Bark:
12 ounces good quality white chocolate, chopped
24 hard peppermint candies

Melt the white chocolate in a double boiler over medium heat or in a microwave, stirring every 30 seconds, until smooth. Be careful not to scorch the chocolate.

Place the peppermints in a resealable food storage bag and, using a rolling pin, tap the candies to break into small pieces. Place the crushed candies into a strainer with medium holes and shake over another bowl - only the very large pieces should remain in the strainer. Add the melted chocolate to the small pieces and stir to combine.

Line a baking sheet with waxed paper and pour the chocolate-candy mixture onto the paper. Using a rubber spatula, spread smooth to a thickness of about 1/4-inch. Press the large peppermint pieces onto the top of the mixture and transfer to a refrigerator to firm.

When firm, break the bark into bite-size pieces and place in an attractive serving bowl or package in airtight containers to give as gifts. Serve at room temperature.

This is best refrigerated if kept for any length of time.

tales from the cryptic

Have you ever wanted to do something really badly? And the more time that passes the more you want to do it ? And there was an opportunity to do it and you went for it? And it was really great and awkward at the same time? It was great because it's what you wanted to do but it was awkward because the circumstances were all fucked up? But when you think back on it it was, like, awesome? And you kinda wish you had the guts to do it earlier? But you don't regret doing it? And you wonder if it will happen again?

Just asking.

oops, I did it again

The following phone conversation took place today between 3pm and 4pm.

woman - Hello?
me - Hi, do you know who this is?
woman - No.
me - (in a creepy small voice) Hello, it's me, bitch!
woman - What?!
me - (starting to realize it's not the person I intened to call) Is this Noemi?
woman - You have the wrong number. (hangs up)

mmmmm,...seasonal goodness

This is a picture of B.F. Clyde's Cider Mill in Stonington, CT. I've never been there, but this is the best picture I could find to illustrate my post.

I love cider mills.

Better yet, I love what's produced at cider mills. Apple butter, apple sauce, apple juice, and of course apple cider. Candy apples, dried apples, apple pie, apple cider doughnuts, apple bread. Insert Forrest Gump reference here.

But I'm all about the apple butter.

On toast, muffins, spoons, fingers (mine, you dirty minded pervs), fruit, nuts, ice cream, crackers. You get the picture.

So, if any of you must buy me a Christmas present I will humbly accept a case of apple butter and I will act pleasantly surprised. Well,... I will be genuinely surprised if someone ACTUALLY gets me a case of apple butter.

let it woe

Most of you know that I volunteer for an emergency advocacy group. I've been doing this for 4 years and every shift for the 4 years (with the exception of a few months off for school related issues) I have been called in to various hospitals in my borough to do that voodoo that I do so well. My shifts have mainly been the late night , "were sorry ma'am, but we can't see your patient right now because we had a couple of stabbings and heart attacks come into the ER," ones. It's been rough, but rewarding work.

During my most recent shift I found myself saying that I didn't want to volunteer today and that I hope that I don't get called in for a case. I got called in 10 minutes before my shift started, it took an hour to travel 5 miles to the hospital, and at the end of the night (at least it was before midnight) I called security to get them to remove a couple of reporters. The rest of the night I slept on my couch (as to not disturb my husband), with a lamp light on, with my cell phone clutched in my hand on vibrate so I can be sure not to sleep through a call. I couldn't sleep because I woke up every 5 minutes or so thinking that a call is coming in. I'm paranoid. Something tells me that's not exactly healthy.

So, after a week of playing phone tag, I finally talked to my volunteer coordinator today regarding how I feel about the work. I told here that I love the organization and the people there, and that I don't want to give it up. In short, I can't work the night shifts any longer. I feel really bad because it's hard to find people to volunteer their time for a 12 hour night shift. Also, because I found this organization at a time when I was out of work and didn't have much of a direction in my life. With out this gig, I'm pretty positive that I would have never gone back to school and I would still be working a union job stressing myself into the psych ward at Bellview.

Anyway, to steal from MNS, today's lesson: you are no good to others if you're not good to yourself first. Cheezzzzy, yes. True, yes. But why couldn't I believe that until now?

ornaments, and garland, and sleet, oh my!

Christmas time, for me these days, has a bit of a surreal quality to it. I grew up in Florida and never saw real snow until I moved up here in 2001. We had real Christmas trees and garland and traditional decorations and the parade and all of that. But Christmas never had that Norman Rockwell quality to it that I thought all the little boys and girls in the northern states got to experience. But to be able to experience the sterotypical qualities of the holidays (ie. snow, cold weather, chunky sweaters, fuzzy scarves et al) is a new experience for me.

Now that I'm here, I can't help but to notice that Christmas doesn't excite me as much as it used to. Perhaps it is because I am either at work or school during most of my waking hours, but would this excite you during the holidays? Well, I'm sure that would excite you no matter the time of year. When I saw him in Times Square after Thanksgiving I couldn't help but think, "What? No wreath?" But then I thought, "where would he hang it?"

I have yet to put up my faux tree, or as I like to call it my everlasting evergreen. I have lots of decorations that need to be hung and displayed and that will helpfully get me back into a holiday sort of mood. It's also something that's in the mind too. I started to get into the Christmas feeling today by listing to Isaac's Charlie Brown Christmas c.d. The fresh untouched snow that I walked on this morning helped too. It's a start.

holiday weekend in review

So, I'm sitting here at work listing to my new Christmas cd, Jingle Bell Swing, reminiscing on my Thanksgiving and mentally going over my to-do list for this coming month. Do I have time to section all of this information out for my dear readers? There's always time.

Jingle Bell Swing
-featuring Duke Ellington, Tony Bennett, Glen Miller Orchestra, Louis Prima and Art Carney (groovy daddy-o)

My Thanksgiving
-wine, brunch, mimosas, Mr. Hanky's Christmas Classics, whiskey sours, bunt cake, A Christmas Story, sour mix, miniature-tree trimming

My Christmas to-do's
-buy shipping boxes, unpack and decorate fake Christmas tree, mail out gifts to out of town folks, holiday baking, finishing up school, work, and early or late spring cleaning (depending if you are a glass half empty or full type of person)

its the most (______) time of the year

I just re-read my last blog post. Damn it was long and I'm sorry to all who read that rant.

Anyway, it's getting to be that time of the year when the air is getting crisp, and the stores are stocking garland and ornaments, and there are more stupid tourists on New York City streets. Yes, I'm talking about the winter holiday season that includes (amongst others) Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Festivus.

This time, to me, means only a few more weeks of school, hot chocolate, soup and grilled cheese for dinner 4 times a week, and rushing around to get my holiday shopping, card mailing, and baking done. Whew! Part of me badly wants to be a 10th of what Martha Stewart is, but part of me realizes that I'm only one woman without an entire gaggle of production assistants behind me. By the way, click on the Martha link... don't you want to make that too?

Alas... as today's story goes, I asked my boss for her new address so I could mail her out a Christmas card. She said, "that wasn't subtle." I smiled and said that I had the intent of having all of my holiday cards ready for mailing by the weekend after Thanksgiving. With that comment, in her eyes and words (loosely quoted, of course) I went from not-so-subtle to being crazy. By the way, another sign that the holidays are approaching is the ever increasing amount of craziness in the air.

For your holiday enjoyment, I found "Turkey Flibriks" for you to play. Warning: if you are offended by traditional Anglo-carnivor cartoon symbols of Thanksgiving this game is not for you. Turn away now! But if your not so inclined to be offended by a cartoon turkey have fun. It's like playing that memory card game we all played as kids. Good times.

Speaking of offense, what's up with this?

striking up a soap box

For my entire adult life I have worked in a theater in one capacity or another. As an artist, administrator, scholar, and observer of live performance I am naturally interested about the current stagehands strike that is affecting Broadway. If you don't know much about it please go to www.playbill.com or www.nytimes.com (the theater section of course) to catch up.

Through one of my favorite websites, gothamist, I found this blog : http://onenycstagehand.blogspot.com/. I'll give you a minute to peruse it.

.....

Your back? Okay. Now, today's opinion brought to you by the letter "S". "S" stands for "Suck it money grubbers!"

I have personally known several members of IATSE Local 1 (the stagehands in NYC) and frequently see other members of the local in action, in the theater district, loading in or out shows and doing various tasks. I have never known a stagehand to be interested in the art of "theatre." Who is this stagehand blogger? He's not of the norm I've associated with.

I put stagehands into two categories: Broadway and everyone else. If you ever go to Madison Square Garden and take a tour you often see those stagehands working their butts off. It takes a ton of pros to switch between basketball games, hockey games, and concerts in less than a 24 hour period. I've even seen the guys at the Metropolitan Opera work and those guys are animals. That's a backstage that never sleeps and they are constantly putting in a new opera every night. But it kills me to walk around the theater district and see 1 guy fixing an electrical grid while 3 others are smoking and looking on supervising the guy. That's a constant senario.

I don't support the theater owners and producers either. They are greedy. Plain and simple. I know that Broadway is a commercial business venture rather than an art and that people who financially invest money into a business venture aim for a return on that investment. But I don't agree with the discrepancy between what it financially takes to make theatre and what the owners and producers are charging their audiences for admission. Theatre is expensive. Commercial theatre is uber-expensive. There's not much state funding for art of any size, therefore there is a need for private, corporate, and foundation money to help pay for the art. Famously, a Broadway show is paid for by little old ladies and infamously by corporations like Universal Pictures, Disney, Clear Channel, Fox, and Oprah (she's got so much cha-ching that I consider her a one-woman corporation). I know that having movie, t.v. and concert money invested in a production is not the norm (go to a show, pick up a program and read the bios of the 30 producers it takes to fund a show these days). But the people no one is talking about, the artists and all of the creative personnel, rarely make any sort of living, and they are truly the hardest working people on the Great White Way… in my opinion at least.

Least we not forget the audiences who support these shows. It breaks my heart to see any one miss out on experiencing live theatre.

I've been trying to do some research on this topic and it's been interesting and predictable. The League of American Theaters and Producers (the organization negotiating on behalf of the Broadway theater owners) has press releases on their website but they are of course one sided and attack the union. It's been near impossible to find official information from the stagehands union, which makes them less endearing to me. Sorry guys. Boo-hoo on both sides.

I don’t want to see anyone lose a job out of all of this either. I understand negotiations are hard, but both sides need to communicate in good faith for everyone sake.

Okay, now I'm done.

rousing succsss

This evening, at one of my theater's of employment, I walked up the staircase of the building and was greeted to a rousing applause from the house management staff. I was so flabbergasted. How flattering! I happen to turn around and see that the applause was meant for the late arriving usher who was 2 steps behind me.

Well, I was hoping that my boss in the box office didn't know who the applause was for. So I walked by his window acting as if the accolade was for me. He was so impressed.

a little hint about what I want for christmas...

Awwwwwwww.

and on this episode of "art talk"...

I recently saw The Farnsworth Invention on Broadway (btw...go see it, it's great!). Everything was going well during the 1st act; no shushing, minimal candy wrapper opening, and not a cough to be hear in the entire theater. Then, as the lights went up to signal intermission, and as people began to stand up to stretch their legs or bolt to the restrooms, the comments started to come out of people's mouths and my tolerance for stupid shit disappeared. "I don't think I like it when the characters talk to me." "Is this a new play? I think I've seen it before, like two years ago." "This show is not in previews. I never see a show in previews." For the record, a character speaking to an audience is a literary and character devise that progresses the plot and characterization (when it's done well), the show had it's world premier at La Jolla in February of this year, and the show opens November 14th.

Now, I know that it is me who thinks that these comments are stupid. And you can see from former posts that I'm all about free speech, no matter how ignorant. But when people are misinformed about the art they are seeing, do I have a right to be turned off? I want to enjoy art. I want art out in the world for all to see. But I hate that art (specifically theatre in NY) is a tourist activity or that some New Yorkers go to the theater only when someone famous is in the show.

This brings up the question, who should art be for; for the people making the art or for those who are viewing and financially support the art? What are your thoughts?

there is a feral cat problem at JFK and someone is upset by it

Awwwww.

In short, the Port Authority is trying to remove feral cats that roam/live in/around JFK airport. In short, a rally is being held in protest of said action.

Related personal story. I climbed down a barrier wall to rescue a feral kitten that was trapped on some rocks in the Florida intercoastal waterway before the tide came up. A co-worker of mine heard the poor wet kitten yelping and she asked me to help. I climbed down the wall, rescued the kitten, lifted the kitten up to my co-worker, and climbed out. The only thing that I have to say is that the kitten showed their appreciation for being rescued by bloodying up my hand. So, in short, I have a love/hate relationship with feral cats.

sweet obsessions

Has our little search for america's next top cupcake gone too far? The answer is no, so shut up if you said yes.

Anyway, we are at a point where when deciding where to go purchase our weekly sin we need to consider location. I've spent some time surfing the web for various bakeries in within the 5 boroughs. Below is a list, with neighborhood locations, that I have compiled thus far (in no particular order):

Sugar Sweet Sunshine - LES
Baked – Red Hook
Amy’s Bread – Hell’s Kitchen
Billy’s – Chelsea
Make My Cake - Harlem
Kyotofu – Hell’s Kitchen
Two Little Red Hens - UES
Downtown Atlantic – Downtown Brooklyn
Joe, the Art of Coffee – West Village, Union Square, SoHo
Kitchenette – Tribeca & West Harlem
Tribeca Treats - Tribeca
Sweet Melissa – Carroll Gardens & Park Slope
Colson Patisserie – Park Slope
Cake Man Raven - Fort Greene
Almondine - DUMBO
Dessert Delivery – East Midtown
Penelope – Murray Hill
Hope & Union – Greenpoint
Duane Park Patisserie - Tribeca
Soho Cupcake Company - UWS, UES, Harlem, Chelsea

Have I missed anything? Please keep in mind that we have already been to and rated several bakeries (please see ipj's blog and scroll down to the section that says "All Things Cupcakes"). If you know of a great bakery anywhere in NYC please let me know so we may add it to the list. Thanks in advance for any and all suggestions.

i laughed so hard, I cried

knit 1, goth 2

Apparently, crafts are very goth. I was trying to look for a Halloween-related item (like a trick-or-treat bag) that ipj could knit for me (shh, don't tell, he doesn't know it yet) and I came across the site "the anti craft." Yes, even you can make your very own asphyxia choker, beaded pendant of blindness and insanity, and vd surprise (who knew that a surprise vd was goth?).

Upon further investigation I found and decided that I wanted this. But then I thought, if only ipj could knit me some counter space in my bathroom for this to go on. Then my life would be fulfilled for the moment.

bathroom banter

The following converstaion took place in the ladies restroom at the Biltmore Theater after a performance of Mauritius, sometime between 9:50pm and 10:10pm.

Woman #1: "I remember Bobby Cannavale from The Station Agent, but I can't remember him from any other movie."

Woman #2: "Did you see him on Will and Grace?"

Woman #1: "Yeah, but I stopped watching it after a while. I got tired of all that gay shit. It was just too much."

Woman #2: "Yeah. Have you heard of The Ritz?"

Woman #1: "Yeah, it's set in a gay bathhouse. I wanna see it."

where's the motivation?

What I should be doing - aerobic exercising on the days I'm not in pilates sessions w/ ipj.
What I am doing - aerobically exercising my right thumb adjusting the volume on my remote while watching Law and Order (my god, they're on every channel!).

What I should be doing - resuming research on a play that I want to write based on a historical theatrical figure.
What I am doing - letting my research books gather dust on my bookshelf. Why aren't they as fun to read as Harry Potter?

What I should be doing - eating healthy food.
What I am doing - eating tasty food.

What I should be doing - cleaning out a closet so I may reorganize it (I've been saying that I would for a while now).
What I am doing - watching shows on HGTV and reading magazine articles that show other people reorganize spaces.

What I should be doing - shopping for items for my famous Christmas baskets.
What I am doing - perusing catalogues for my famous Christmas baskets.

What I should be doing - finishing my typed, double-spaced homework assignment, which is due tomorrow.
What I am doing - writing this blog

5 things to know during halloween

1. www.halloween.com. This site gives you links to find out Halloween histories & stories, where to get your Halloween supplies, where to find haunted houses (very important), and give you a "until Halloween" counter (by the way, at the time of this posting there are 19 days and 1 hour, approximately, left until the big day).

2. speaking of counters, on Halloween day there will only be 45 shopping days left until Christmas and just slightly over 4 months until the Easter candy arrives in drugs stores everywhere (mark that on your calendar ipj).

3. as I am sure many of you know, the area surrounding New York City is home to some very spooky places. Sleepy Hallow, NY (the setting of Washington Irving's famous tale of Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman) and Amityville, NY (anybody see the film bearing the town's name?).

4. theaters (the buildings not the art) are well known places for ghosts to roam. Amongst others in NYC: Radio City Music Hall is said to be haunted by the lover of the hall's builder S.L."Roxy" Rothafel. The New Amsterdamn is haunted by Olive Thomas, a former Ziegfeld girl and the most famous ghost on the Great White Way. Two former theater houses of David Belasco, the Belasco on W. 44th and the New Victory on W. 42nd, each house a ghost, both of whom happen to be his former mistresses. I've even read reports that both Judy Garland and Bob Fosse haunt Broadway theaters.

5. vampires are from Romania and werewolves are of German origin, but Halloween comes from the UK, originally a Pagan Celtic celebration of Samhain (the end of the harvest). Though it is not an officially observed, Halloween is the fasting growing holiday in all of France.

dear mr & mrs zpj, i suck!

...for not hanging out with the coolest couple I know this side of the Mason-Dixon line last night. I was just too wiped out to make it there alive. Anyway you both know how much I love, adore, and worship your yard, um, I mean, you both with all of my heart. I hope that I can convince you two to go out for drinks sometime soon.

i've got a terminal case of the beach blues

Above is a picture of Lantana Beach. This is one of the beaches that I used to go to growing up in Florida (hmmm, no swamp here mr.o.) Beau-ti-ful, huh? I found this online. Do you know how many pictures of blue-haired republicans I had to go through to get this photo?

I've been thinking about life in the quiet lane recently. I would be so happy if I could be sitting on the beach, with my toes in the sand, watching the waves break on the shore right now. Instead of spending my day in the warm sun with the breeze in my face, I swam up against pedestrian traffic in Times Square...both ways, I sat inside a windowless room for over 8 hours, and I wore a phone head set and stared at a glaring computer screen today. I spent my day experiencing the antithesis of enjoyment and fun. Calgon, take me away!

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm loving it in the big apple. I have a lot of good friends, I see lots of great art, and I am a part of a very serious dessert battle. I have a lot going for me. I'm just whinning for a vacation.

big girls only cry in the gym

Today something amazing, embarrassing, and relieving (all at the same time) happened today. I take exercise lessons from a friend and today was a particularly long session. In the middle of an intense stretch my trainer said in a soft clam voice "let it go" (referring to the tension in my shoulders) and I started to tear up. I wasn't crying because I was in so much pain but because I was finally letting go of the tension. I was embarrassed for crying in the middle of a crowed gym, but was happy knowing that I was letting something out of my body that was hurting me.

I've always known that I bottle most of my emotions in. And I also know where in my body my tension lies. But I've never been able to find a productive way to release it. This experience reminds me of the deep connection between the physical and the emotional. It also reminds me that I haven't been taking care of myself very well in a while. I was raised to be stoic and depended upon by my parents to be responsible and grown up at an early age. So I know that I don't handle stress and confrontation in a healthy way. Between work and school and family, I'm spent. Most days I'm at a point where I can barely function normally. But today, my lesson was better than the 5 years of therapy that I've had.

Therefore, I need to give a big heartfelt and warm thanks to my trainer for being so kind, gentle and patient with me during our sessions.

Also, if anyone out there has any pointers, advice or tips on how to deal with stress in a safe and healthy way, please post.

a picture is worth a thousand... oh I'm so disgusted I can't even say it

Take a look at this picture. I found it on Gothamist under the heading "Ahmadinejad's Show Time at Columbia." The caption attached to the picture says, "photograph of Geraldo Rivera and various Columbia students." I traced the picture back to Flicker and found the following caption, "New York -- On the eve of President Ahmadinejad's visit to Columbia, Geraldo Rivera broadcasts his news segment live from campus." Got the context of the picture? Okay. Now, please tell me what's the worse thing about this picture. Is it:

1. that a fan club rallied for the Iranian President (as suggested by the big I "heart" Ahmadinejad sign in the background)
2. that Clay Akien made an appearance
3. that Geraldo is still allowed on the air. By the way, if it wasn't for the trademark furry creature above his lip I wouldn't be able to pick him out of a crowd... unless he drew a map to disclose his secret location on the Columbia University campus
4. or that there's a girl in the foreground (and don't pretend like you don't notice the genius in the jogging shorts) who looks like she's trying to be the Monica Lewinsky of the Middle East (can't you see the passion in her eyes?)

I can't decide.

I'm not going to hop on my soapbox about how much I loath a person like Ahmadinejad-a-ding-dong. Nor am I going to rant about how much of a tool I think Geraldo Rivera is. However, there is such a thing as the 1st Amendment and there is also such a thing as not listening to someone you dislike or disagree with. There is also taste, tack, sincerity, common sense, and morality. But I'm going to give you all two words... PUBLICITY STUNT. On the parts of both Pres. ding-dong and the man with the dead squirrel on his face. I think this stunt would have been just as, if not more, productive if both of those men ran naked, hand-in-hand, accross 42nd Street. Just a thought.

i'm on a mental vacation right now

a funny thing happened on the way to the blog

So, I was checking out ipj's blog, and btw here is the latest installment of the frosting fight, anyway, after reading the lastest post I decided to click on the "next blog" link that is above everyone's blog. Well... the next blog after ipj's is titled Mature Fetish. Snazzy name. Then, immediately, a pop-up ad appeared for the Snaatch Gallery. Now I know what you are thinking. Why are there two a's in Snaatch? Did that drunk bitch forget proofread her entry again? If only!

Anyway, don't get your hopes up, horndogs. Mature Fetish turned out to be pretty dull. Previous posts include "Training Voice Activated Software" and "A Better Way to Solve a Temper Tantrum." Also, it turns out the the "next blog" feature is random. I went back to ipj's blog, clicked "next blog," and found one titled Beautiful Lies that featured lots of pictures of sticky, gooey, sugar-laden donuts. I actually like that title. I think that I'll name my cupcakes that from now on. Mmmmmm. Sweet weekly beautiful lies.

today's to-do list

1. homework
2. laundry
3. clean out the fridge
4. make bread pudding from left over bread (yum)
5. tidy up the apartment
6. sip on a cup of tea while thinking about what part of the apartment I should tidy up first
7. work on crafts (I can't tell you what they are, it's a suprise for the holidays)
8. think up ideas for a research proposal (any ideas out there?)
9. work on my storage closet (damn storage closet!)
10. write a blog post while putting of all of the above

how many years does it take to complete a 4 year degree?

Recently, my boss asked me how long do I have before I am done with school. Done for real?" I asked in reply. "Yes." I was happy to reply that come June 2008 I will be a college graduate. But then I thought of how long it took me to get this far, and I became a little depressed. By the time I graduate, it will have only taken me 11 years to complete a bachelors of art degree. Well, technically it took me 6 years of actually taking classes and 5 years of thinking about why I don't need a degree and then later realizing that I can barely get a job with out a degree.

Anyway, this brings me to the question of what to do when I grow up. Was college worth it? Should I continue onto a masters degree? Should I take another break and do "something" with my life? Do I want to start a family at this time? I see so many possibilities and see what has happened to the people before me and around me. I see some people who are doing exactly what they want to do and are happy. I see people who picked whatever and stick with it because of responsibilities. The 5 years of "soul-searching," or whatever that was, brought me to New York from a life that I felt was going nowhere because there was something inside of me that needed a new direction. And alot of things changed in my life since my move here. But now I feel that I am not on track or that I don't have a goal. I feel like I've come full circle with the me of 7 years ago. Makes sense. I've heard somewhere that every cell in a person's body changes every 7 years.

i fall for autumn

Oh how I love the signs of fall. Crisp chill in the air. Fall foliage. Tiny and varied assortments of baby squashes at the greenmarket. Hot apple cider. Scarves. Lower electricity bills. Soup for dinner. The harvest moon. Halloween (though seeing Halloween candy and costumes in September makes me melancholy). Dry skin (because my skin is usually oily).

For the record, how I hate the signs of fall. Cold rain. Short daylight hours. The countdown of shopping days left until Christmas. Halloween (I miss my 2 best friends during this time). The impending arrival of winter. Having to wear warm socks and closed toed shoes constantly.

liza mannelli...with club sauce

I miss this show.

la costra cupcake

As you know ipj, isaac, shanel and I are having a cupcake-off at work. And for those of you that don't know, click here and shame on you. Anyway...I was reading Gothamist and found out about Magnolia bakery opening a new outlet in the UWS. Well, a link in that article led me to this.

Apparently there is a cupcake war being waged in this town. And it's being compared to the mafia. Don't believe me? Read the article. It's hysterical. Especially the part where the owner of Buttercup Bake Shop (who is the former co-founder of Magnolia) said "if baking in Manhattan were the drug trade, then cupcakes would be crack cocaine." Yeah,... as if crack cocaine went straight to your hips!

Otherwise, who knew that the four of us would find ourselves in the middle of a turf war. Jonesing for ice(ing) week after week, never getting the same (sugar) rush that we did the first time. I know that there is a history of substance addiction in my family, but who knew that my drug of choice would be cupcakes? Doesn't matter, since I'm in denial that I have a problem in the first place.

happy thoughts topped with an inch of frosting

Something that makes me, and hopefully will make all of you, happy... check out this post by IPJ . "Yummy, yummy, yummy I've got love in my tummy"

"dr fine, dr howard, dr fine" or "how to get to know every ob-gyn in all 5 boroughs"

I just spent more time than needed to confirm an appointment, change said appointment, and renew a prescription only to find that the doctor that I was scheduled to see can't see me. Let me elaborate...

Okay, let me admit up front that I have become one of those snobby New Yorkers who rarely goes beyond a self imposed set of geographic boundaries. I live in Astoria, work in Times Square and go to school in the Upper East Side. With the exception of an occasional 'other event' I never go outside of these 3 neighborhoods. For years I've been seeing a series of doctors with in the same practice (who have all been great, btw) mainly because the office I go to is located 5 doors away from a subway entrance on my train line.

Earlier this year, my latest doctor left the practice for the sunshine and warmth of Alaska. !?! I was not offered another doctor to see because none of the other doctors in the practice took my insurance. Months pass. I couldn't put it off any longer, plus my job changed insurance carriers. So, I got an appointment with the nurse-practitioner at the location that I love. All set, right? Ah-ha, you would think. This morning I get a call confirming my appointment for this Friday at a Fort Washington location. Due to my snobbery, I never travel above 70th Street. So I call back to get an appointment with a doctor who goes to my location. Appointment booked. 2 minutes later, I talk another person to renew my prescription, and she tells me that the doctor I have the new appointment with doesn't see patients for annual checkups. FUCK!!!!!! So that had to be straightened out with the secretary who booked my appointment. After a referral and a call I finally got a doctor in another practice who takes my insurance, attends my location and who can see me before the year's end. Whew. If this ever happens to me again, I'm just going to go crazy and start to give myself pap smears. At least I know I can take my own insurance.

it's a new day

Today is the day that my creativity, desire, and drive came back to me. Mind you, this may all change by tomorrow, but today I'm going with the feeling. This morning I was putting the final touches on a summary paper due for a class, and as always I was distracted by a recent posting on ipj's blog. At that moment I wanted to share more of my experiences related to his posting. Thus, a blogger is born.

I've been posting comments on friends blogs for some time. I frequently feel like an outsider to a group that I know I'm a part of, posting witty quips here and there. Well, today I decided that I'm going to stop being just the observer-commenter and start posting my own damn thoughts and experiences. I am very inspired by some dear blogger-friends and I hope that your great posts keep me going.

I frequently feel creative spurts of inspiration but lately I haven't had much fuel in the tank. I need to be more disciplined and I hope that by writing this blog I will develop a good habit (as opposed to my bad habits, like starting to write a paper 10 hours before it's due).

So, here's to a new start.