so sue me

What's the point of having a blog if you can't reveal your inner most self. I'll finally admit what I do when I'm supposed to be exercising and writing. I do this:

and see things like this:



and play a little of this:

and look for sexy pictures of this guy:

and maybe some of this:



I think telling you in pictures is so much more effective. Don't you agree?

day 7 - week in review

I think I'm going to have to add another condition to my 6 week goal program... that I have to keep up with my blog writing. It's hard to be motivated an on top of things when I'm constantly tired. It's like I have chronic fatigue, but I really don't.

I had an early evening last night. Got home about 6pm. Made dinner. Then preceded to watch Michael Collins and pass out half way through it. Not because it was a snoozer of a movie. I slept forever. I woke up around 6:30 this morning and felt really refreshed. I never get up that early, and I also never feel like I sleep well.

As for day 7's goal activities: 30 minutes of yoga and 45 minutes of researching and organizing. There's this one play that I'm trying to write that I keep coming back to and I'm constantly looking for documentation because it will be a historical drama. Fun.

As for the review part, I feel that I shouldn't try to make excuses. I didn't reach my goals everyday. And I need to be more vigilant about it for the future. So don't ya'll give me any grief about it!

day 5 & day 6

Besides a half an hour of yoga each day, I suck in the personal-goal-achievement department. My excuse...the cabaret. Friday I had a refresher rehearsal and Saturday we had our final (?) show.

After the show, I went out to dinner with some of the cast and some friends last night and ended up at a bar in midtown where Dori and I danced most of the night. I had so much fun. It reminded me of my dancing days in my former life. Every weekend I would go out w/ my girlfriends and dance until the early hours. So I can add at least 1 hour of dancing to my exercise list for yesterday. So, there. In your face exercise list!

day 4

30 minutes of at home yoga. I did my first 4 sun salutations with great ease. Kiss my butt yoga instructors!

90 minutes of walking. I met up with Irene and we went scouting around Central Park for a location for our, what we are now naming, "Graduation Party/Kick Off to Summer Picnic." We got soooooo much exercise that we felt we deserved our really fatty bacon and cheese topped grilled chicken sandwich and vanilla sundae topped with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. Yum.

I didn't get any writing done, but I did get to talk to Irene about a scene I'm working on and I got some great ideas. Oh, reminder to me....I need to type those out before I go to bed tonight.

I think I'm a bit of a bad influence on Irene. This is the second evening I took her to a comfort food place (this time it was Jackson Hole and last time it was Chat n Chew) and I have diverted her from her studious following of Living Well by Montel Williams. I love the poetry of that title. Irene, if you're reading this, go eat a piece of fruit! But please not anything red.

day 3 - the day after

30 minutes of exercise.

30 minutes of writing.

90 minutes of laughing over witty sexualized box office talk with Isaac.

Using up all of my funny dialogue for the day on banter rather than the scene I'm working on... priceless.

I did go on a sorta date with my other last night. It's been awhile since we've gone out. It was nice. So, I think that it was okay that I didn't get in a full hour of either exercise or writing. It was for a good cause.

day 2

I really didn't fair any better than yesterday.

35 minutes of lightweight exercise. Mainly stretching and sit ups. Can I add walking up and down stairs and walking to Food Emporium and back to work to this? If so, then 45 minutes.

20 minutes of actual writing, but 2 hours of daydreaming about who would be my dream cast if I staged an evening of some of the short plays I have written.

Tonight, I meet with the LaurenJ and her husband and Ms. MNS for a drink in Union Square. It was really nice to fiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaalllllllly meet up with them. It seems like a hundred years since I last saw the gang. When Lauren and Zach come out to play it only means one thing in my book... beer garden and cookouts. Which are two things, but one statement, SO it counts as one thing, alright! I can't wait until my semester ends and the season at the theater ends cause that will mean that I'll get at least Sundays off and that means I'll be able to enjoy the weather and my friends and my free time and damn this is an unnecessarily long run on sentence.

So, as a conclusion, though today wasn't a goal fulfilling day it was still a good day none-the-less.

supersnack this!

What do the numbers in this picture represent?



a) the combined age of all of the people in the picture?
b) the average amount of minutes in a week they individually think about sex?
c) the number of squirrels they bagged in the park that day?
d) the amount of money they raised last year for AIDS Walk NY?

The short answer is d, possibly b, but defiantly d.

The group in the picture are collectively known as Team SuperSnack. They are, according to member and my friend Lauren J, a "fully-awesome fund-raising machine." Doesn't that sound cool? Well, they are. And they're a non-profit 501 (c)3 to boot! Sexy.

SuperSnack is having a benefit concert happening on May 16th for their walk on May 18th. 100% of the concert's proceeds will go to AIDS Walk NY. The concert features The Mountain Goats, John Oliver form the Daily Show, Rock Plaza Central, and more special guests are TBA. Location is at the Brooklyn Masonic Temple in Fort Greene. If you are interested in attending the concert, participating in the walk, or donating dinero for a good cause, check out www.supersnack.org or e-mail supersnack.org@gmail.com.

day 1

1 hour 35 minutes of vinyasa.

1 new scene written for a short play.

30 seconds of tears.

I have a new instructor for yoga on Monday nights because my former one left 2 weeks ago. I gave the new teacher the benefit, until I couldn't keep up with the repeated savasanas that were going at lighting speed. She would go through 5 instructions in what seemed like 10 seconds and I could barely keep up. At one point I gave up and tears welled up in my eyes. Then I got mad and determined, and I kept going. Then I lost my balance.

The writing is going well, however.

I challenge me, myself and I

Susan Lori-Parks wrote a single play every day for 365 days. Morgan Spurlock ate fast food every day for 30 days to raise awareness about American obesity. The Barenaked Ladies sang, "it's been one week since you look at me" (hell, I needed something). What can I accomplish in 6 weeks?

Here is my mini-manifesto...Everyday, for the next 6 weeks, I'll be documenting my progress in two areas of my life that I will work on: my exercise routine and my theatre work. Everyday I will workout/exercise for at least, but not limited to, one hour. Everyday I will work on something theatre related such as, but not limited to, writing, researching, auditioning, production, etc. Everyday I will record my day's events by posting on this blog. Everyday I will be one step closer to realizing my dreams and improving my quality of life.

It's sorta Bridget Jones' Diary meets Supersize Me: but without the ciggies and the big macs.

I'm afflicted with the prolific

So far, things seem optimistic in the creativity department today. I saw a great show the other day (God's Ear), and I loves me some downtown absurdist theatre. I'm finally writing another short play, which I may or may not talk about. Jessica and I are contemplating putting her cabaret in another venue in the next month or so, after we deal with some housekeeping issues. We are also considering putting together an evening of short one scene plays so we can work with a few actors from school that we think are awesome and underrated and before they graduate. I'm doing dramaturgical research on a play that I want Jessica to direct and I think would make a great movement piece. And my head is full of other ideas of theatre pieces I would like to make a reality.

My creative juices are like alcohol in the bloodstream, and I am 6 time over the legal limit today.

cake makes the day better

Yesterday, Irene and I had a pretty packed afternoon and evening. We had made plans to see a play in midtown, but it was sold out. So we decided to go see God's Ear at the Vineyard instead. We had a little time to kill before we had to be there for the student rush, so we sat in a computer lab plotting out our graduation party (as both her and I are finishing up our undergraduate careers this semester), comparing profiles on Facebook, and debating whether or not the new Justin/Madonna song is any good.

Around 5pm we were getting hungry and thought we'd go get a pot of tea and food at Alice's. Irene noticed some police cars and ambulances through a window that overlook the intersection my school is near. With concern, she asked what happened. I told her the pope did. He was in the neighborhood for something and we couldn't get to the tea shop (stupid pope, getting in the way of my darjeeling oolong). We eventually made it out alive.

Cut to Union Square. We got our tickets, we went to the bank, then we went to scrounge for dinner. After walking into Whole Foods and seeing the 20 mile long line, I said that we should go to Chat n Chew. Irene had never been there before. Burger and Thanksgiving on a roll for dinner and "bananaramalicious" for desert. Irene explained to me that it was a banana cake. What? Like banana pie? Like banana bread? Like, what the hell? I was game and we shared a slice.

Of course, what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't take pictures with my piddly 1.0 pixel camera phone.

Mmmm. Looks good so far.

It's like cake porn.

Don't you just want to pound that thing from behind?

Anyway, it lived up to it's name. Irene and I agreed it tasted like bananas, it was licious, and it had the right amount of rama in it too. It was pretty good. So good, in fact, that we beat the shit out of it and left it on the side of the road for the vultures to pick at.

Oh, and by the way, the show was good too.

memories

I reread some of my old posts and I got to one with a picture that made me laugh. Wanna see it? Brace yourself and click here.

school discussion imitating life

Today, in my linguistics class, we talked about the concept of face. Your public image. How you want others to perceive you and what image you choose to project. We talked about saving, maintaining, and loosing face. Seeing how I recently tried to save face by putting a security restriction on my blog, I thought today's topic was pertinent.

Reflecting on this subject, I notice that I think you all must think I'm unhappy and define myself by my problems. But that's probably not the case. But I do notice that I spend a lot of time talking about the problems in my home life. I would rather talk about topics that interest me and people that I like, but 9 times out of 10 I'm talking about who did what to me and how that upsets me. So for that I'm sorry.

So, I'll spend this paragraph talking about a paper that I should be writing. I am writing a comparative paper about Sophocles' Oedipus Rex and Seamus Heaney's Burial at Thebes. My research question is, knowing the intention of a writer through interviews or published material and finding evidence in their work that supports their views and/or thoughts, can you surmise a writer's views and/or thoughts from their work if you don't have supplementary evidence? The reason why I compare the two playwrights and plays is because they were both written at a time when a large scale war was going on. In Sophocles' time, the Peloponnesian War was taking place and when Heaney wrote his play the Iraqi War had begun. More specifically, I want to argue in my paper like Heaney's Creon was a mirror to Bush, Sophocles' Oedipus is a mirror to Pericles (if you know your Greek history). Wish me luck on it.

do you know what happend to fonzie and vinnie barbarino?

If I'm upset, who do I have in my life to tell that to and to just support me without judgement?

Today, I am not doing well. I spent my evening defending someone, defending myself, and defending this blog. All for what? So when I told someone about my day's problems, so I could get it all off of my chest, that they wouldn't really be interested, so they would think that I was overstepping my boundaries, and so they would take what I write on this blog literally and get offended over it? It sucks hard.

All I want is a hug and some reassurance, and I've directly asked for that, and I can't get it. I'm also afraid to ask for that from anyone else. I don't want to appear needy. I feel too numb to cry about this, which is what I really want to do right now. That sucks hard, too.

BTW... if you are wondering about the title of this post, its from the Wedding Singer. It's in the scene where Robbie and Sammy are in the bar and Sammy tells Robbie that he's miserable and he used to idolize people like the Fonz and Vinnie Barbarino. Long story short, nobody wants to see an old dude hit on chicks. All he wants is for somebody to hold him and tell him everything's going to be okay. Me too.

Today's moral: I'm too old to hit on chicks.

that's it

It's been too hard to maintain this blog publicly without it coming to bite me in the ass. I'm sorry to anyone that I have upset or humiliated by my comments. I meant this to be something where I could have an outlet for the multiple aspects of my personality. I thought that by being honest of the fact that I was keeping this blog, people would know that I wasn't trying to hide anything. I mean, why boast about something that I want kept secret, right? I never thought that being me, whether I was happy, sad, hurt, annoyed, or even trying to be funny and not serious, that it might hurt someone's feelings or that I had to defend that I could be any of those things.

5 more things to know about me

1. My favorite color is black. I always include at least one article of clothing of said color in my ensemble. Most days, I'm sure it looks like I'm going to a funeral. But if I was, I would totally put the fun in funeral.

2. I'm conflicted about my feelings towards educational theater. More specifically, college productions. I attend shows my classmates are in. I participate in shows my classmates and I put together. Those tend to be pretty good. Yet, it's the professor directed productions that never come to full glory. I think the intent is there, but those shows are always missing (a) certain something(s). They're never all good, and frequently they are pretty bad. But I'm such the consummate hypocrite. I've been cast in 3 professor directed college productions and I didn't balk at any of those opportunities. Sorry guys.

3. I've got about 4 production ideas happening in my head at any given time. At least one to direct, one to write, one that's experimental, and one that's traditional. Frequently, there's crossover.

4. I've started a new mantra for my morning routine. In the shower or while I'm getting ready alone in the bathroom, I tell my self that I'm sexy and that I would do myself. Ask me in about a week if it's boosting my self confidence.

5. I searched around Facebook for classmates in high school a couple of weeks ago. With the exception of 2 people, I don't talk to anyone I was in school with. It seems that some of them have families, some haven't changed, and most still live in Florida. It only reminded me of how far I've gone with my life and how I need to get on the ball to make things happen and make my life fabulous before my 20 year reunion.

oh, damn

This weekend, my cabaret (Anything Can Happen: a Whimsical Cabaret, check us out on April 19 and 26 at the Theater at Ha!) had it's first two performances. I told Melanie and Isaac at dinner on Saturday that Friday's performances could have been better due to some particular circumstances that afflicted the show. Sunday's performance was a whole 'nother ball game. It was wonderful! I'm so excited to tell you all that it is a really good show. Really, truly, deeply, good show.

Anyway, on Friday, three hours prior to performance, I learned that I was running lights and sound for that evening. After being told for 2 months that I wouldn't be allowed to enter the booth, I now found myself relearning how to operate a lighting board (I haven't touched a lighting board since '97). To say the least, my partner in crime (aka the director and star of the show Jessica) had her agenda (to conduct a badly needed rehearsal) and I had mine (to learn the boards and lightly tech the show). Jessica needed certain things from me, I needed certain things from Jessica. Heads butted, our voices were raised in anger and frustration, and I felt the stress creep into my shoulders. I was the tech, operator, and stage manager all at the same time and I wasn't having it!

Until I read Jessica's director's note in the program. Thank you to this person, thanks to that person, and then... "Finally, words can't express how grateful I am to Tara for all of her hard work on this show. Tara, without you the show would have never made it past the first few weeks, and I certainly wouldn't have survived to Opening Night. Thank you for being everything from a Director to a Publicist."

Please reread the title of my post to find out my reaction after I read that note.

today I...

...discovered an article about Tina Fey in Entertainment Weekly, read it, and found it more interesting than the 10 important things I needed to get done.

...chit-chatted with one of my bff's from FL and learned that she up 'n quit her job today. I feel so guilty that she's going to be spending money she doesn't have to come up to visit me in a few weeks.

...calculated that I brought in more money in sales than I made on my paycheck for all of last week. Sad.

...found out that my cabaret was listed in Time Out New York (online for now). And I was the one who wrote the press release and submitted it to them. Not a huge accomplishment, but I'm still excited. Now I'm just going to cross my fingers and pray that we'll get print coverage.

...began to regain some of my normal life. The children's show is over. Mother Nature has left the building!

it's about fuckin' time!

We finally had a great cabaret rehearsal yesterday. And I'm as pleased as punch with the state of the show. As I was telling some co-workers today, I don't trust a show that's doing really well in rehearsals at the beginning. There's nothing to really grow from. But I also don't trust a show that's not improving by any means. And last night, the light bulbs over everyone's head turned on. It was beautiful.

With that said, I now present a shameless plug for the show...


Dates/Times: Saturdays April 19 & 26 @8pm
Location: Theater at HA! 163 West 46th Street, between 6th and 7th Avenues
Admission: $15, 2 drink minimum. $8 for persons 12 and younger
Tickets can be purchased at www.smarttix.com

I hope to see you all there!

me,me,me,me,me

I received an e-mail from one of my Florida bff's that asked me to answer some questions about my life and to forward it to my friends and the person who sent it to me. Below are the questions that were included and my answers to them:

( ) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost
( ) Been on the opposite side of the country
(x) Gone to Washington, DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
(x) Colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
( ) Paid for a meal with coins only
(x) Done something you told yourself you would not do
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(x) Gone to the movies

1. Any nickname? Kelsey (only when called by Kansas)
2. Mother's name? Gina
3. Favorite drink? iced coffee
4. Tattoo? Umm, no
5. Body Piercing? 9-Ears, 1-belly button (but it closed up)
6. How much do you love your job? As much as I love ice cream on a winter's day... which is still alot.
7. Birthplace? Springfield, Ohio
8. Favorite vacation spot? haven't been there yet
9. Ever been to Africa? No
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Yes
11. Ever been on TV? No, but I have been in a movie
12. Ever steal any traffic sign? No, but I harbored someone who did
13. Ever been in a car accident? unfortunatly
14. Drive a 2 or 4 door vehicle? I only drive everyone crazy!
15. Favorite salad dressing? Blue cheese
16. Favorite kind of pie? pumpkin
17. Favorite number? can't I like them all evenly?
18. Favorite movie? the Wedding Singer and Zoolander
19. Favorite holiday? Used to be Halloween
20. Favorite dessert? cupcakes
21. Favorite food? steamed greens w/ garlic (I could eat that everyday)
22. Favorite day of the week? Saturday, cause I'm pumped up.
23. Favorite brand of body wash? Philosophy - Mint
24. Favorite toothpaste? Tom's
25. Favorite smell? Fresh baked bread
26. What do you do to relax? Yoga
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years. Hopefully sane!!!!
28. Furthest place you will send this message? West Palm Beach
29. Who will respond to this the fastest? I'm banking on Irene

don't try to fool me

This morning at work, I was talking about having to get a strand of ivy for my costume for the children's show I'm performing in (I'm Mother Nature) and my boss quoted a line from a commercial that, to her, was quite memorable. Funny thing was, she was the second person to mention that commercial to me. I've never seen it and was not familiar with the product. So, I did what any reasonable person in my situation and with my curiosity would do... I found it on you tube.