winter break check in

My break from school is going well so far. I've been fairly rested, didn't gorge myself on the big holiday meal, was somewhat conservative during my holiday gift giving, patiently waited for the return of the cupcake battle, played tons of spider solitaire, contemplated some frivolous actions but restrained myself, continued reading a book that I didn't finish over the summer, and am jotting down as many ideas as I can cram into a journal since my horoscope said that I'm at an all time high for creativity. Whew!

I still have a lot to do...

... like cleaning out my closet. Now, I'm all about organizing, but my closets are 2 inches away from being useless. They are long and narrow (but not in the good sense of the image) and I have to walk in sideways to be able to get to my shelves. I've done the best I could. But it also becomes a matter of trying to keep up the organization. So, my other has wisely said that I can take care of the closet in the office. I think this was said for two reasons; because he knows that I would probably kill him if he got in my way, also because for some strange reason I can't recall what I ate for dinner last night but I could tell you where every object in my house is when asked because of where I put it.

... like knitting. I miss it and haven't had the time for in since the summer when it's too hot to do it. I've been meaning to make scarves for friends as presents, but it either takes me too long to make anything or it gets too complicated. It shouldn't. It's just a scarf. Perhaps I'll make a bunch of wrist warmers instead.

... like growing out my hair. I had my hair cut, and I had it highlighted, and it's short and blond. Everyone seems to like it but I'm still in a double-whammy shock. The color just needs to mellow out a bit and I just need to grow an inch or two of hair and it'll all be fine.

... like catch up on my theatre going. I recently saw Peter and Jerry at Second Stage and it was wonderful. I love Edward Albee's work and Bill Pullman who starred, and I've now fallen in love with Dallas Roberts who played Jerry. I can't believe I waited until the final weekend to see the show, but thank god for Friday matinees and student rush tickets.

... like start to think about what will happen to me once I graduate. In a little more than 4 weeks I'll begin my final undergraduate semester. I'm excited and sad at the same time. I like the safety of school but at the same time I'm so ready for it all to be over. But I don't want to grow up and get a real job but I don't want to be in school for the next 10 years.

... like have an early mid-life. Just for the heck of it. Maybe. No. Yes. Not sure. Yet.

working for a living

The following scene took place in the box office today between 6:00 and 6:20pm.

Isaac - (seeing a brush, hairspray and deodorant in my hands) Freshening up? Worked the afternoon shift and now you're going back for the night shift.
me - Yeah. By the way, can you go into my bag and grab the Summer's Eve?

what was your christmas wish?

crack is back!

Look at what I got as my first Christmas present (from IPJ). Yes ma'am, they're here and they're a habit-forming substance... so get used to it! Cadbury Mini Eggs, aka little eggies, chocolate abortions (courtesy of IPJ), and crack eggs. As you can see, I've already opened my bag up.

IPJ must really like me or else he wouldn't have gotten me this present, or he just thought that I'd go as crazy over these as he did. I'm not complaining. So far, this is the best present I've gotten all year.

Update: As of 1:42 pm, I sucked down my eggies. That'a right, I blew through my stash. Now I'll be in withdrawls until Easter.

fuck the to do list!

I tried. I really tried. It's been so rough and I don't want to admit that I bit off more than I could chew, but alas....

So, the holiday gift boxes were finally mailed out as of this morning. All done, bye, bye. Some house keeping, check. Showered and shaved, check. Rice pudding, check and yum.

I don't know why I even make a to do list, much less put any faith or hope into it. Perhaps it's because I want to have goals and it's an exercise for me in trying to obtain those goals. Ok, enough psycho-analyzing the damn to do list.

OMG... Isaac is playing Oregon Trail and I'm on his wagon (it's not the first time I've been on or off the wagon). He just said that I have typhoid fever. Quickly, he said "and you're going to die!" What a way to end my day. Please God, just let me get dysentery and get it over with.

to do list... let's try it again

1. finish the holiday buying, packing, shipping.
2. laundry
3. seek and destroy notes and papers from the semester
4. tackle the spare closet (it beat me last time)
5. make rice pudding (I'm half way there, I have the rice cooked)
6. clean out the fridge
7. bake cookies, or pies, or something delich so I can eat it all in one sitting tonight
8. work on a crafty-type of project
9. grocery shopping
10. pat my self on the back if I can get at least 5 of the above things done

learning to end world hunger

Have you ever been in the situation where you had to prepare for a standardized test but you couldn't stop thinking about how to help end world? Me neither. But, you guys still have to check this site out. It's called FreeRice.com. Essentially, you play an SAT prep type of vocab game, and for every correct answer the site will donate 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program. You don't have to sign up for anything, it's completely anonymous.

The money that is used to pay for the rice is provided by groups or companies that advertise on the site. The site is administered by Poverty.com, which was started by an individual who wanted to let people know about the problems with world hunger and to find practical solutions. The site has no religious, corporate, or political affiliation.

Please make sure to check out the site (and other sites) and pass it along to all of your friends.

I miss...

(in no particular order)...

free time.

year-round tropical weather.

cupcakes.

first kisses.

being really excited about a play.

roller skating.

boogie boarding.

acting.

my sanity.

my friends Shayla and Jamie.

sleepovers.

clubbing until 3am.

espresso milkshakes.

date night.

feelings

I don't know why I feel so anxious right now. Maybe it's because I'm not on any meds right now (side note: I recently had to quit a medication I was on because it was screwing up my system).

Or maybe it's because I can feel the clock ticking down towards several events. End of the semester and end of the year. Reflecting on this feeling, I'm thinking about what I will end up doing for New Year's Eve (nothing) and thinking about what I will do with my first true day off from school (sleeping). I'm not going anywhere for the holiday and perhaps that's a good thing. It should give me enough time to catch up on the things that I love but don't have the time to do; ie: go to a museum, catch an art flick, read a book for fun, knit a new scarf. I have a lot to look forward to.

As you can see from the above list, I didn't mention drinking and sex. It's not because I don't love these things (I do, I really do!) but it's because I don't need to catch up on drinking and I don't want to talk about sex at right now (touchy subject).

Perhaps there is a way to combine my passions in life. Like drinking at a museum opening. I'll let your dirty minds come up with the other possible combinations.

long-term thinking about a short-term goal

Today is my last free day from work & school (like peas & carrots = 1 vegetable item at some diners). So I decide to spend the day at the school half of my life. Despite my beautiful office-like setup at home, I can't seem to get anything done while in my apartment. I love to find excuses so I can procrastinate. For example: the dishes really need to get done, there's a Ken Burns documentary on channel 13, I have to write a post for my blog. You know, the usual.

So, I have a big goal for myself today, and that is to make sure the majority of my work is done. Majority, for formal purposes, means at least 51% of the total. Majority, for me, means at least 3/4 of my total final amount of work. That gives me some wiggle room, about 24% to be exact, to do less and not be upset by it. There are already too many things for me to get upset over and I'm not going to let school work be one of them.

Perhaps if I had a goal to work towards. Or an incentive. And I'm not talking about some crappy incentive like "it'll make you feel accomplished" or "the reward is knowing you did a good job." I mean something like a big fat cupcake! Or a movie. Or a cupcake that I snuck into the movies. (this is getting out of hand).

So here's the challenge...as my friends, I need someone...Anyone!... to make a suggestion as to what I should look forward to for accomplishing today's goal. Please do not put cupcakes as an option... unless you will provide me with one personally. In which case, I probably won't consider it a reward since I'm in a cupcake challenge. But in any case, I'll gladly accept it with little to no fuss.

silver and gold...and copper?

Because I believe in worthy causes, I thought that I'd share this organization that's doing great work. Common Cents is currently having an exhibit in Rockefeller Center called the Penny Harvest Field. According to their site, they are "an educational, not-for-profit organization, which specializes in creating and managing service-learning programs for young people." Isn't that great!

So far they have collected over 100 million pennies. And the pennies are on display at Rock Center from now until New Year's Eve, 9am-9pm, located north of the tree. Anyone want to go on a field trip to go see it?

and speaking of naughty....

I know how some of you feel about this already, but I had a fun time watching The Golden Compass. I'm sure I would have felt differently if I had read the books, but I liked it because: a) it had beautiful production elements, b) because I can't remember laughing so hard during a one-on-one battle, and c) Daniel Craig (look at those pursed lips).

Faith and I both whole-heartily agree that Mr. Craig is a tall glass of sexy, with a dollop of whipped cream. Yum. Oh wait, Faith says to make that one a Venti. We just think that his piercing blue eyes, his intense personality, and his overabundance of sex appeal make up for the handle bars on the side of his head. But then again, God put those ears on his head like that for a sexual reason and we say hallelujah.

As for the rest of the movie, it was fine and I had a good time with everyone. It didn't help that every time Liz laughed it only confirmed that it was okay to laugh at what I already thought was funny. I was so worried at first that if I laughed ipj would get mad at me, but he giggled a bit too. All in all, it was worth the company.

naughty or nice

Which one are you? To find out, take this quiz. When I took it, it said that I "need(ed) to try harder, cause (I'm) slipping a little down the Nice list." Whatever!

So, if you're not satisfied with the results, like me, then take this one. It was discovered that I was only 51% naughty. Maybe it's a bad day for me.

Not good enough? Try this one. It said that I was relatively good. Well, I'm relatively sure that the scoring is skewed.

How about this one? It determined that I was nice. Finally! A score a respectable girl like me can live with.

short and not so sweet

For those of you who may not know (gee whiz, here I go assuming that none of you know this) but the cupcake battle is experiencing an armistice (what a great freaking word). It's as if we are all on an extended legal holiday. Nice.

Until today. The theater I work at was having a fundraising benefit, complete with hors d'oeuvres, gift bags, balloons, etc, etc, etc. There was also an offering of free ice cream. When my boss told me that the ice cream was available for staff I began to have sugarplum fairy visions of last years ice cream extravaganza (which featured individually packed portions of Cold Stone Creamery). I grinned from ear to ear upon the though of french vanilla mixed with Reese cups and caramel. So I volunteered to gather a couple of afternoon treats for Isaac and me.

What initially was a smorgasbord of 9 promised choices turned into 4 bland options of hand scooped Ben and Jerry's. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking an ice cream horse in the mouth and I love Ben and Jerry's, but where was the chocolate chip cookie dough? The chubby hubby? Phish food? Half - baked!!!!!!!!???????

After I coolly asked the unhappy scooper for 2 orders of mint chocolate chip, I brought the ice creams back to my office and quietly ate my scoop before the mini heater melted what was left of my sweet dream.

forgotten holiday

There is an upcoming holiday that everyone should know about. It's more important than Christmas and more gratifying than spinning the dreidel during Chanukah. Tomorrow, December 8th, is National Chocolate Brownie Day. Yay!!!!!

To celebrate, mix your batter, bake your brownies, and add a dollop of fresh whipped cream. Share this holiday with the ones you love... or as least the ones who'll understand.

And, to inspire you to make great brownies, below is a recipe I found that I think is perfect for this particular month.

Peppermint Bark Brownies

1 cup butter, plus more for greasing dish
4 squares unsweetened baking chocolate, chopped
2 cups sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour
4 eggs, lightly beaten
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup chopped peppermint bark

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F and grease a 9 by 13-inch baking dish. Line the dish with a piece of parchment paper that extends up beyond the edge of the pan on the 2 wide sides of the dish and lightly grease the parchment. The paper will serve as handles when you are ready to remove the brownies from the pan.

In the top of a double boiler or in a microwave, melt the chocolate and butter until completely smooth. Add the sugar, flour, eggs, and vanilla and stir to blend. Stir in the peppermint bark and transfer to the prepared baking pan. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center just comes out clean - it's ok if there are a couple of small fudgy crumbs adhering to the toothpick. It's better to undercook these slightly than overcook them - these brownies are meant to be fudgy.

Transfer to a cooling rack and allow to cool completely. Using your hands, lift up firmly on the parchment paper pieces and transfer to a flat surface. (If the paper is stubborn, run a thin knife around the edge of the pan, or loosen the brownies slightly with the help of an offset spatula.) Cut the brownies into 2 1/2-inch squares and serve at room temperature.

Peppermint Bark:
12 ounces good quality white chocolate, chopped
24 hard peppermint candies

Melt the white chocolate in a double boiler over medium heat or in a microwave, stirring every 30 seconds, until smooth. Be careful not to scorch the chocolate.

Place the peppermints in a resealable food storage bag and, using a rolling pin, tap the candies to break into small pieces. Place the crushed candies into a strainer with medium holes and shake over another bowl - only the very large pieces should remain in the strainer. Add the melted chocolate to the small pieces and stir to combine.

Line a baking sheet with waxed paper and pour the chocolate-candy mixture onto the paper. Using a rubber spatula, spread smooth to a thickness of about 1/4-inch. Press the large peppermint pieces onto the top of the mixture and transfer to a refrigerator to firm.

When firm, break the bark into bite-size pieces and place in an attractive serving bowl or package in airtight containers to give as gifts. Serve at room temperature.

This is best refrigerated if kept for any length of time.

tales from the cryptic

Have you ever wanted to do something really badly? And the more time that passes the more you want to do it ? And there was an opportunity to do it and you went for it? And it was really great and awkward at the same time? It was great because it's what you wanted to do but it was awkward because the circumstances were all fucked up? But when you think back on it it was, like, awesome? And you kinda wish you had the guts to do it earlier? But you don't regret doing it? And you wonder if it will happen again?

Just asking.

oops, I did it again

The following phone conversation took place today between 3pm and 4pm.

woman - Hello?
me - Hi, do you know who this is?
woman - No.
me - (in a creepy small voice) Hello, it's me, bitch!
woman - What?!
me - (starting to realize it's not the person I intened to call) Is this Noemi?
woman - You have the wrong number. (hangs up)

mmmmm,...seasonal goodness

This is a picture of B.F. Clyde's Cider Mill in Stonington, CT. I've never been there, but this is the best picture I could find to illustrate my post.

I love cider mills.

Better yet, I love what's produced at cider mills. Apple butter, apple sauce, apple juice, and of course apple cider. Candy apples, dried apples, apple pie, apple cider doughnuts, apple bread. Insert Forrest Gump reference here.

But I'm all about the apple butter.

On toast, muffins, spoons, fingers (mine, you dirty minded pervs), fruit, nuts, ice cream, crackers. You get the picture.

So, if any of you must buy me a Christmas present I will humbly accept a case of apple butter and I will act pleasantly surprised. Well,... I will be genuinely surprised if someone ACTUALLY gets me a case of apple butter.

let it woe

Most of you know that I volunteer for an emergency advocacy group. I've been doing this for 4 years and every shift for the 4 years (with the exception of a few months off for school related issues) I have been called in to various hospitals in my borough to do that voodoo that I do so well. My shifts have mainly been the late night , "were sorry ma'am, but we can't see your patient right now because we had a couple of stabbings and heart attacks come into the ER," ones. It's been rough, but rewarding work.

During my most recent shift I found myself saying that I didn't want to volunteer today and that I hope that I don't get called in for a case. I got called in 10 minutes before my shift started, it took an hour to travel 5 miles to the hospital, and at the end of the night (at least it was before midnight) I called security to get them to remove a couple of reporters. The rest of the night I slept on my couch (as to not disturb my husband), with a lamp light on, with my cell phone clutched in my hand on vibrate so I can be sure not to sleep through a call. I couldn't sleep because I woke up every 5 minutes or so thinking that a call is coming in. I'm paranoid. Something tells me that's not exactly healthy.

So, after a week of playing phone tag, I finally talked to my volunteer coordinator today regarding how I feel about the work. I told here that I love the organization and the people there, and that I don't want to give it up. In short, I can't work the night shifts any longer. I feel really bad because it's hard to find people to volunteer their time for a 12 hour night shift. Also, because I found this organization at a time when I was out of work and didn't have much of a direction in my life. With out this gig, I'm pretty positive that I would have never gone back to school and I would still be working a union job stressing myself into the psych ward at Bellview.

Anyway, to steal from MNS, today's lesson: you are no good to others if you're not good to yourself first. Cheezzzzy, yes. True, yes. But why couldn't I believe that until now?

ornaments, and garland, and sleet, oh my!

Christmas time, for me these days, has a bit of a surreal quality to it. I grew up in Florida and never saw real snow until I moved up here in 2001. We had real Christmas trees and garland and traditional decorations and the parade and all of that. But Christmas never had that Norman Rockwell quality to it that I thought all the little boys and girls in the northern states got to experience. But to be able to experience the sterotypical qualities of the holidays (ie. snow, cold weather, chunky sweaters, fuzzy scarves et al) is a new experience for me.

Now that I'm here, I can't help but to notice that Christmas doesn't excite me as much as it used to. Perhaps it is because I am either at work or school during most of my waking hours, but would this excite you during the holidays? Well, I'm sure that would excite you no matter the time of year. When I saw him in Times Square after Thanksgiving I couldn't help but think, "What? No wreath?" But then I thought, "where would he hang it?"

I have yet to put up my faux tree, or as I like to call it my everlasting evergreen. I have lots of decorations that need to be hung and displayed and that will helpfully get me back into a holiday sort of mood. It's also something that's in the mind too. I started to get into the Christmas feeling today by listing to Isaac's Charlie Brown Christmas c.d. The fresh untouched snow that I walked on this morning helped too. It's a start.