Have you ever had one of those moments that made you suspect that you were in the middle of a movie? Yesterday, I left the office in Times Square and made the decision that I worked hard enough to earn myself a latte. As I approach Broadway/7th Ave on 42nd Street I saw some guy in an Elmo costume on the corner. I've seen him before, standing on the corner, waving to innocent bystanders, enticing tourists to take pictures. What a skivvy bastard. I ignored his advances and headed straight to Starbucks.
After getting my grande non-fat latte, I turned right and headed north towards the Virgin Megastore. Within one block, standing in front of the Toys-R-Us, there he was... Elmo, with his ridiculous shit-eating grin. Little punk was fast. Whatever. I walked by.
The next block, in front of the Planet Hollywood, is always filled with crowds of people who ohh and aww over the bright lights of Times Square. I tend to march through that crown, willing to run over even children just to reach my destination. To my surprise, the crowd begins to part in front of me, as if it were the Red Sea. There, in the middle of the crowd of people, stood Elmo. WHAT THE FUCK! How did he run past me with out me noticing? How could he even run in the costume? Was I imagining this?
I turned around to look down the block I just walked up and noticed the other Elmo standing there, waving at passerbys, with his stupid shit-eating grin. Turns out that there were multiple Elmos roaming Times Square. At that moment, the stalker movie in my head instantly turned into a horror flick.
1 comment:
The whole time I was reading this I kept thinking of Grover, big and blue and cuddly and Super(Grover). And then I realized my mistake, Elmo's that fucking red one. Thank god you made it out alive.
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