pictures don't lie

As found as the title of the lead article on the Yahoo Featured section: The Key to Losing Weight.

As found as the picture attached to the lead article on the Yahoo Featured section:

I was right all along, but never suspected others would agree.

choose a food

The following took place, today at work, between 3pm and 3: 25pm.

Shanel: (hanging up the phone) *sigh* People think they'll be in the theater surrounded by kids. "Where are the parents?" People don't use their lima bean.
Me: Lima bean? What?
Shanel: Yeah, they don't get it.
Me: Do you mean they're not using their noodle.
Shanel: Yeah, I meant to say that. But... lima bean.

to-day's to-do for to-morrow

I'm getting a head start on my list of tasks to accomplish tomorrow. They include:

1. working on one of a number of plays that I've been half writing for months now.
2. read a friend's play so I may comment on it with a questionable level of intelligence.
3. work (yes, it is a work day for me after all).
4. behave, behave, behave.
5. see immediately above and add "while being sober" after every verb.

I wonder how much I have ever accomplished off of any to do list. Perhaps the point is having your goals and desires out in the open. Perhaps my intentions will be realized if I know others are watching, so then next time they can say, "Tara, how's so-and s0 and whats-n-what working out," and then I can wallow a little deeper in my chronic case of embarrassment.

Perhaps it's a bigger issue I'm working on. I have a tendency to keep things to myself, and my lists, when I record them on my blog, are a small way of helping me towards expressing those things that would other wise be kept secret from everyone (6. remember to buy herpes medication).

While visiting my family recently, many people asked how I like it in New York. I said it was a little sad that I didn't have family nearby, but I was extremely lucky to have a very close circle of friends to make me happy. I'm very thankful that I feel close enough to those of you, who are regular readers, to be able to share what would not be on any list I would normally write.

winter tease

Proof of where I was this past week.

And I got to frolic in it, too.

More to come soon.

you know your addiction is noticable when...

...you are sitting infront of your computer, you almost spit out and choak on the coffee you are drinking, and your friend - who is startled that you almost sprayed your desktop with your morning joe - says, "Oh, you're watching 30 Rock. I understand."

p.s.a.

I ran across a video of a cartoon that I remember. It's a little weird, cause the site I found it on said that it never aired because the major networks wouldn't allow it on tv. But if that was the case, where did I see this? I remember it. Was it in school? Was it on a "best of..." vhs? I'll have to remember to ask my dad about it when I see him next week.

Anyway... here it is for your viewing pleasure. Despite it staring Goofy, the video has an important message, or, in hindsight, it did had an important message. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that it's message was lost on my not so impressionable 8 to 10 year old self. I'm sure you'll note how outdated it is. Good luck with it.

international house of random smells

I'm not sure if I wanted this case solved or not, but I guess we can't go back to our ignorance any longer.

Remember that strange maple syrup smell that waffled (no pun intended) through the city, sporadically, over the last year or so? Me too, and yum! And, remember how we all said that the smell must have come from New Jersey, because New Jersey, as we all know, is the home to factories that make random smells and flavors that make you want foods that do not exist in nature? Me too, and yum again!

Well, are we at all surprised that we were right? Reuters broke the big story this afternoon. Hey, I know it's not a story fit for an episode of Murder She Wrote, but mystery solved, I guess.

I'm not sure how to feel about this. It's a little sad and bittersweet to me because I enjoyed the speculating. Is it a dirty bomb or is it a marketing ploy orchestrated by Mrs. Butterworth? Ooo, the excitement.

Somehow, what makes the radar under the "Odd News" section is, to everyone here in the center of the universe, part of what makes living in New York wonderful. I love the idea of telling my family and childhood friends about walking to the subway one evening and stopping dead in my tracks because I smelled pancakes out in the middle of Times Square, because that story will make them think I'm off my rocker. They won't understand. They don't have to. That just means more New York for me.

i need to get my eyes checked

Title of actual Associated Press article:

Assets of money manager's wife ordered frozen

What I thought I saw:

Assets of monkey manager's wife orderd frozen

Did you notice the difference? I didn't either.

christmas is early

It's a sign. Someone is telling me it's a bad idea to give up my habits this week.

COFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!. And not just any coffee. FRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE COFFFFFFFFFEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Want some? Click on this link for details.

Thank goodness for random internet searching.

payback

So... I took this quiz that a friend sent. The usual. Answer questions from a-e choices, each choice having a point value. Tally points. Then, using your total, look for your results. This was a "which cartoon character are you" quiz.

My answers included "a perfect date would include going to the movies," and "my perfect vacation spot would be Paris." Do you know who I ended up being compared to? Elmo! What the fuck! He's everywhere. First, the bastard cloned himself to infiltrate Times Square. And now this?

If anything should happen to me, I want someone to call the police and tell them that I've been stalked by a furry red monster. It may sound crazy, but I'm sure that he would be the only suspect in my disappearance.